


Quantum Hearts

by MsMK



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AUs are here, Bad Puns, Biting, Boss is an Asshole, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Ecto-Penis (Undertale), F/M, Fraternization, Human/Monster Romance, Love Triangles, Love triangle possible, Marking, Misogyny, One Night Stands, Puns & Word Play, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is naive, Sans is a scientist, Science, Slow Burn, Taboo, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, UF!Sans, reader is a scientist, science puns, seriously slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-19 18:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10645245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/pseuds/MsMK
Summary: When you joined the most lucrative lab in the Mt. Ebott region, you weren't expecting a misogynistic asshole boss who wouldn't even let you work. After two years of being a receptionist with a doctorate, you meet a different kind of scientist.Your new partner is a Skeleton Monster! His name is Sans, and you think he's pretty great. After a drunken night you assume was a dream, you may be tied to him in an unexpected way, and you start to think that you might really like him, which would be fine...If it wasn't for that pesky anti-fraternization policy.





	1. Quarks and Flaws

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while reading some other Sans/Reader Fanfics, and after so long writing my Six Skellies fic, it'll be a nice break to write this one.  
> I've always been a huge sucker for Classic Snas.

Dr. Turner was the handsomest scientist you had ever met. Curly blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, a lopsided grin...absolute swedish porno star, right here. When you had come into his lab as an intern, you had been immediately enamored by the tall man. It didn’t hurt that he was nice, respectful, and attentive.

At least, until the promotion. Until you became a real member of his team.

As an intern he had basically held your hand and praised you all the time, making you feel invincible. When the board had selected to keep you, well...you learned his opinions on women in science very quickly. He continued to treat you like an intern, right down to laughing you out of the lab when you tried to do your actual job. It had gotten to the point where, despite being a tenured team member who’d been working there two years post-doctorate (Which, not to brag, you were the youngest on the team to have received), you were basically a glorified secretary and barista. It didn’t help that any new scientists that were supposed to be YOUR partners ended up acting just like him, turning their noses at a female in their lab, especially since you were never given any chance to prove yourself.

So when they introduced “your” new partner, you hardly bothered to look at him. Turner didn’t really introduce you as his partner anyway, and you had stopped bothering to dress as a scientist a long time ago. If he didn’t know you were a scientist, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when he didn’t treat you like one. You nodded in their general direction, which satisfied Turner plenty, and you heard his footsteps retreat. You flipped the page in your textbook, so bored that you were actually just rereading the basic materials around the lab. At least when Dr. Turner moved up in a few months, it would leave you in charge as the only tenured scientist here. Even he couldn’t really argue that.

“i’m sans.”

You jumped, attention snapping up to the person standing in front of you, your reading glasses flying off your nose. He caught them in a swift motion as your jaw nearly dropped.

A skeleton.

An actual skeleton was standing in front of you. If you hadn’t just seen it move, you would have thought that Turner was playing another cruel prank on you. It...no, he, if that baritone was any indication...handed you back your reading glasses. When you didn’t take them, he placed them on your desk. He tucked one of his hands into the pocket of his plush, and lovingly worn, blue sweatshirt, leaning back on his heels as he grinned at you, other one extended expectantly.

Expecting a response.

“O-oh, yes, sorry, I’m Y/N, D-Dr. Y/N,” You stuttered, delicately taking the outstretched hand. He gripped your hand tightly, much tighter than you expected, and gave a firm shake.

“doctor? turner didn’t mention you were a doctor. actually...” he rustled around in his pockets, producing a crumpled paper and squinting at it. Wait, skeleton monsters can squint? “says here dr. y/n is my new lab partner. and that’s you, sooo…” His eyes were little pinpricks of light, and they were surprisingly expressive as they travelled back to you. “what’re you doin’ sitting at a receptionist’s desk?”

You felt your face get hot. His brooklyn accent was the farthest thing from what you’d imagined when you thought of your first meeting with a monster. And he was...polite. Much more polite than expected. And, for a skeleton, he was surprisingly handsome? Like, maybe it was partly the politeness, which you were not used to at all, or maybe it was the fact that he looked incredibly human and expressive, despite the obviousness of being made of bones. Looks like you needed to reevaluate some of the stereotypes you held.

“hello?”

“O-oh….uhhh…” You couldn’t think of a good answer for him that didn’t sound pathetic. For all the work you’d put in to get your schooling done in record time and gain a place in a prestigious laboratory, you had little to nothing to show for it.

“Ah! I see you’re getting acquainted with our little house bunny,” Turner’s deep voice boomed as he re-entered the room, chuckling and slapping Sans on the shoulder bone. You heard an almost imperceptible growl from the skeleton, but his grin was fixed. “Y/N here makes a great cup of coffee. She’s absolutely invaluable to the team. I’m sure you’ll enjoy her services when I move up in a few months, seeing as you’ll be in charge here.”

Your knuckles clenched around your book, turning white with pressure as you bottled the rage. You knew, you  _ knew  _ he would do something like this. You felt the green monster rearing its ugly head in your chest. This guy was literally starting today...you’d been here two years!

“me in charge? but hasn’t dr. y/n been here for a long time? she should be next, right?”

You looked at him in disbelief. Nobody had ever stood up for you like that, and certainly not at their own expense. Turner barked a short laugh and wrapped his arm around the skeleton’s shoulders.

“Oh, you’re funny, Doctor. But no, Y/N isn’t qualified. She’s only done one study of her own in all her years here, whereas your background is quite extensive. Just forget about it, she’ll do well to serve under you.”

The look on his face was simply appalled as Turner walked away, wiping laughing tears from his face as he went. You sighed, the embarrassment you felt evident on your cheeks. He turned back to you with a refreshing smile.

“wow. what a tool.” He said, winking at you. “don’t worry, i’ll set things straight for ya, partner.”

* * *

Sans. Was. Hilarious.

Seeing as Turner wouldn’t really let you work, and Sans had nothing to do since he was new, you ended up spending an awful lot of time together. You’d often notice him appear to lean against your desk, making a bad pun about whatever science text you were reading today. He’d usually laze about by your desk, chatting, or in the break room while you ferried coffee to everyone. He seemed to conveniently pop up whenever you were bored, and would always linger until somebody made him drag his blue Chuck Taylors back into the lab.

He was also the first person to treat you as equal, even though you totally weren’t. He had not one, but  _ two _ pHDs, but he seemed embarrassed to talk about it. Theoretical Quantum Physics  _ and _ Astrophysics? How does someone his age even do that? But he wrote it off as having nothing to do underground before the Ascension. But he never let it color his attitude, always laid-back and carefree. He loved to listen to you talk about physics, even though you were sure he probably knew as much as you. He never corrected you, and you were sure it was out of niceness, but one time you had purposely said something wrong and he had so gently corrected you that you had forgotten you had messed up.

The two weeks since he’d joined the lab had been, by far, the best days you’d ever had in that miserable building, and his presence almost made the years of torturous misogyny worth it. No, wait, it made it definitely worth it.

On this particular day, Sans had lazily stretched across your desk, forcing your attention off of Turner’s appointments calendar. He was pushing your papers around like a cat that wanted attention, making you laugh as he messed up all of Turner’s stupid busywork.

“so what’s a brain like you doin’ takin’ orders from a ham sandwich like turner?”

You clapped a hand over your laugh, shoulders shaking. He was eyeing you seriously, marking the inquiry with a huge silent question mark.

“Turner was the head of the best lab in the Mt. Ebott region. Still is, for now. As an intern, he was great to me, but once I was hired…” You sighed in frustration, tapping the pile of papers you’d just picked up, only to have them plucked out of your hands by your large monster friend.

“so why’d you continue, though? two years is a long time to work for an asshat like him.”

You had to admit that you really only put up with his shitty personality because he had such good looks, but that wasn’t what kept you there.

“Well, until you came along, I was in line to take over, and the pay raise would have enabled me to move out of the tiny apartment I share with three people I don’t care for.”

“and now?”

You blinked, confused. “What?”

“you said before i came. but now i’m here, so why stay?” He was leaning down, supporting his head on his hand. He reminded you of Burt Reynolds in this pose and it was hilarious. But the look in his eye was full of genuine concern.

“Well, now I stay for you,” you said honestly. His grin faltered, and something blue dusted his cheeks. Was that a blush? Can skeletons blush?

“ah...jeez, darlin’, i’m not that great.” He covered his blush with his free hand, avoiding your gaze.

“You’re hilarious, polite, and the guy who might actually let me do some actual fucking science once Turner is gone, so yeah, you’re pretty great.” You enjoyed watching the flustered look spread on his face at your compliments. You’d never seen him disturbed, and it kind of made you blush yourself.

You thought he looked cute when he was flustered, if skeletons could be cute. Who were you kidding, he was cute as hell. His personality shone through like a big blue spotlight, and his mere presence could brighten your day. Those traits were way more important than any outward appearance, though you didn’t find his unappealing. You supposed as far as monsters went, a skeleton was probably the least freaky.

Turner came round the corner suddenly, calling for Sans.

“Doctor Sans! You’re break has been going on for over an ho--” He stopped in his tracks when he saw him sprawled across your desk, blushes evident on both your faces. Sans gave you a look you couldn’t distinguish, and clambered off your desk in a hurry. Turner just chuckled. “Hey, no looking at the legs until quitting time, soldier. I need you in the lab right away.” You jumped up from your seat, but he put out a hand to stop you. “Just Sans, thank you Y/N. Though we might need some coffee in a minute or two, looks like it’ll be a long night.”

His wink left you feeling gross. But you felt better as you saw Sans shoot you his award-winning grin over his shoulder as Turner wheeled him away.

Only two more months until Turner was gone.

* * *

“hey, darlin’, wake up.”

Slender, bony fingers ran through your hair. He paused, checking to see if he’d woken you. Fortunately for him, you seemed to be very soundly asleep, cheek stuck to a page of Dr. Turner’s itinerary.

He watched you sleep soundly, such a faithful lab partner even though Turner treated you terribly. Why else would you be here until 3 in the morning with only constant coffee runs to keep you busy?

_ “Now I stay for you.” _ Your words popped into his mind, and he couldn’t help but blush at the thought of you caring enough to stay simply for him.

He scratched his skull. He had let himself become pretty attached to you. Your friendship had been the most enjoyable part of his new job, despite his usual aversion to humans. Perhaps it was the desperate, wide-eyed look of disbelief you’d given him when he had done the simple polite act of introducing himself. He had never seen someone so thoroughly broken by a job before, but he was happy and a little proud to note that you’d been much better since he’d made an effort to hang out with you. Well, effort wasn’t really required for something he really genuinely enjoyed. You also...uh...smelled nice. Like, really nice. He wondered what your soul must look like if it was to match the heavenly smell that you radiated.

He couldn’t help himself.

He peeked at your soul a little.

Perseverance. “heh. no surprise there.” He muttered as he saw the purple heart fluttering in your chest. It wasn’t as in-depth as looking at your soul in person, but he could see the little things. Your HoPe was surprisingly high, but that was probably due to your perseverance. Your LV was...worrying. But no higher than his own, obviously. It probably matched up at about Papyrus or Undyne’s level, so it didn’t necessarily mean you were evil...jeez, he must really like you if he’s explaining away LV 3 like it was nothing. He also noticed the crackle of magic, noting that you were a mage. But from what it looked like, you didn’t realize this.

He wondered. He’d seen many timelines where he’d come to work for Turner. Sometimes Turner stayed just to annoy him, sometimes he was left alone, and sometimes he abandoned this place altogether. But...this was the first timeline with you in it. Ever. It was so strange. Usually there’d at least be a glimpse of someone in every timeline, but not you. He’d been surprised to see a new face, and even more surprised to find that that new face was a mage, but mage souls were rare and that probably explained why you were only in this timeline.

It was this curiosity to your existence that made him find you so fascinating. Every second he spent with you was a second he’d never experienced before. Every word off your lips was one he’d never heard. Every smile you gave him was unexpected, beautiful and strange.

There was no denying the happy hum his soul made when he looked at yours.

“Doctor, you’re still here?” came Turner’s voice from behind him. He spotted you. “Ah, yes, the office flower. No naughty thoughts allowed until you have tenure, you know.”

His jab was crude, and it made Sans so angry to hear. But he grinned up at the man anyway.

“you shouldn’t talk like that, hr might hear you one day.” He said. He’d make sure HR heard about it.

“Lighten up, Doctor. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t worry about her, she usually sleeps here anyway.”

And with that, he was gone. Sans looked back down at your sleeping body. He was worried about you walking home at this time of night, but...well, Papyrus was waiting, and he couldn’t worry his brother. But he also couldn’t let you alone without some method of calling for help...

Without thinking, he grabbed a pen.

* * *

You started awake to the sound of your watch alarm, heart racing. A page from Turner’s itinerary was practically glued to your face, and you peeled it off with a groan. You’d slept on the desk, again.

Blue writing caught your attention on the paper, so you looked closer.

 

_ tried to wake you, but had to leave...if you need me when you wake… _

_ call me _

_ sans :) _

 

He had scribbled his phone number underneath, making you blush. Nobody had ever bothered giving you their number just because before. You pulled out your phone and entered it quickly under the nickname  **PunnyBone.** You smiled. That was a cute nickname.

Should… should you message him? Let him know you were okay? That you got his note? You looked at the clock. 4:00am.

You messaged him.

You were shocked to hear back.

 

**PunnyBone:** glad to know you’re alright. still at the office?

**You:** That I am.

**PunnyBone:** need someone to walk you home?

**You:** No I’ll prolly just stay here. Use the infirmary bed and shower and stuff. No point in going home right now.

**PunnyBone:** then i’ll come in early to hang out 

 

He added a gif of a skeleton giving a thumbs up, making you giggle.

 

**You:** You don’t have to if you don’t want

**PunnyBone:** oh i want to. see you soon.

 

You realized he meant ASAP, and you jumped to your feet and ran to the locker room. You needed to be presentable  _ before _ he showed up!

The showers in the infirmary were really nice, nicer than the ones at home. You had to share one bathroom among you and your 3 roommates at home, so most of your shower stuff had migrated here anyway. You were always the first there and the first to leave, so to speak, so nobody noticed or cared.

It made it easier for you to practically live here. You hated your roommates, and in two months when the lease is up they had told you they weren’t going to renew with you. Fine by you. As a result, you had already put most of your stuff in storage, and slept here most nights.

After you showered and picked an outfit, you tried to do something to your hair, but you were always  hopeless with that so you just put a couple clips in to keep it sideswept. You hoped you looked alright, despite only having a couple hours sleep.

You made your way to the break room to make the coffee before Sans arrived, but you were startled to see him leaning against the counter already. When he saw you, his grin widened and he gave a little wave.

“hey, i’ve  _ bean _ waiting.” He said with a chuckle.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, let me  _ espresso _ my sincerest apologies,” you shot back, giggling. He laughed at that, a little surprised at your quick response. You were, admittedly, usually pretty mousy and quiet around him, but these last few weeks have been pretty good for your social bone. That is, you’d become accustomed to him and were beginning to relax a little.

He watched you quietly while you started the coffee machine. Quiet was pretty common with him, but it was almost never awkward. He seemed to have a comfortable attitude toward silence, which was nice because Turner never stopped talking and nothing  _ he _ had to say was worth listening to.

“so do you stay overnight often?”

You almost jumped out of your skin when he finally spoke.

“Uh, what makes you say that?” You said, trying not to seem too fidgety as you avoided the question.

“well you have a change of clothes, make that two since you had to change yesterday after Turner spilled his coffee on ya. and you showered, which is normal, but you smell like name-brand shampoo instead of the basic soap they usually keep, which indicates that you keep bath stuff here. and i noticed you hang around even on your days off.” He was very observant. Too observant. You noticed that his hand was very close to yours on the counter, his pinky touching yours just slightly. “does turner make you work a lotta late nights?”

“Uhm, no, not really, but I practically live here anyway, and it’s better than home.”

“why’s that?”

“W-well, I live near the mall area in an apartment with 3 roommates. But they don’t like me very much, and I don’t really care for them much either. With my student loans, it’s been hard to pay the rent, so they decided that they’d be better off finding a new roommate so in a few months I’ll have to find a new place and I stay here most of the time. I...have no idea why I just told you that.” The truth had spilled from your lips like an overflow. He moved his hand away, using it to support his head thoughtfully.

“so why don’tcha like your roommates?”

“Eh, they were all friends before I came in. Guess you could say there was no  _ room _ for me.” Plus they were all passive aggressive assholes.

“s’too bad. where ya gonna go?”

“Oh, I dunno. I make enough to live on my own, I guess, but I won’t really be able to look until I’m ready to move anyway. It’s all very exhausting.”

“sounds like you could use a distraction.” He said, grinning over at you. “doctor misogyny invited me to go drinking with him and the guys tonight. wanna come along?”

Drinking with Sans didn’t sound too terrible, but with Turner? Ugh. He musta sensed what you were thinking.

“turner won’t do nothin’ to ya there. he’s only an asshat when it comes to science. he’s a real chameleon. right down to the wonky eyes.” He did what you assumed was an impression of a chameleon, and it made you laugh. If Sans was there, you could handle it.

“Ha! Alright, drinks it is.” He grinned wide, and slid a cup of coffee over to you (when had he made that?) before turning to leave.

“heh. a’ight, see you tonight, partner.”


	2. The Laws of Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go drinking with the other doctors, including Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turner is a huge knob in this one.

He couldn’t believe himself. The audacity, the assumptive thinking, the recklessness…

He had almost invited you to live with him without thinking. Drinks...also a stretch, but luckily for him you’d agreed. He had only given you a spark of honesty when he touched your pinky, but you continued to be honest even after he’d gotten you to spill the beans. He’d been pretty proud of himself.

But the confidence that had filled him at 6am this morning wore off with that first cup of coffee, and now he was an absolute wreck. He felt guilty for manipulating your emotions to make you tell the truth, sure, but what was really getting to him...

_ i just asked her to basically go on a date with me without even thinking twice, what the hell, sans! _

His hands were sweaty. He’d already dropped three test tubes and a beaker, and had shaken a mixture so hard it exploded just by carrying it.

But the confidence returned every time he caught a glimpse of you. Your sunny smile relaxed him, and just the sight of your almost imperceptible blush at the sight of him made his soul hum.

“calm down, sansy, you only just met her,” he muttered to himself as he flipped through his journal for the calculations needed to prove his hypothesis so he could input his research requests by 3:00 and knock off early. He wanted to get home so he could look presentable tonight.

“You sound a little lovestruck, Doctor!” A hand clapped against his shoulders. He groaned inwardly. Turner. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“no lady for me, doc, just the love of science,” he jested, trying to placate the blonde man. He wanted him to drop it.

“Nah, I know who it is. On an unrelated note, Doctor…” Turner gave him a mischievous smile, a hint of malice in his blue eyes. “You read your handbook, correct?”

“yeah, more or less.” he had skimmed it. Usual stuff like dress codes and such.

“Then you’re aware of our lab’s anti-fraternization policy between partners?”

Oh. He hadn’t considered that. His mind raced as his hand paused on the corner of a page. Well, it wasn’t like he was dating you (yet) and it wasn’t as if having drinks together had to be sexual or romantic (yet), so Turner can fuck off with his passive aggressive possessiveness. He turned to the man, standing from his chair and snapping the journal shut. Even though he was a short monster, he still towered over most humans. His six feet had the advantage of broad shoulders as well. He ‘accidentally’ checked Turner with one of his thick shoulders as he walked past to a machine behind him.

“i am indeed familiar, doc. i can’t imagine why it applies to our project on the concept of molecular transference, though. care to explain?”

The blonde man grimaced, but only momentarily. His smile returned, and he wrote it off as a mere reminder from HR, and scurried out of the room.

Sans snorted, watching him leave. He reminded him of a rat.

“what a tool.”

* * *

You stared in the mirror of the locker room, wondering if you’d gotten too dolled up. You kept your makeup here, as well as the dress you were wearing, just in case you needed to go somewhere nice after work. You wondered if the little black dress was too dressy for a bar. Or if you had put too much mascara on. Or if--

“You certainly look nice today. Going somewhere?”

You jumped at Turner’s voice, whirling around to see him leaning on the doorframe.

“Y-yes, doctor...Sans invited me to join you all at the bar tonight.”

He surveyed you with a smirk. It made you feel weird.

“My little flower in bloom. I’ll save a drink for you, if you’ll save a dance.” Quick, think of something to deflect that!

“Doctor, need I remind you of the anti-fraterniza--”

“Need I remind  _ you _ that it only applies to partners? We aren’t partners, princess.”

You felt your face get hot as you realized he was right. That would mean the only one who fell under that rule would be...Sans. You felt your heart fall a little. That bonehead was the only person you were even remotely interested in. Not that you...planned on...fraternizing…

“I...guess you’re right, Doctor.”

“We’re off the clock, legs. Call me Erik.” You bristled at his new pet name for you. Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean you can’t be gross, dude.

“....Erik.”

His grin did not make you feel giddy like Sans’ did. When he finally left the room, you sighed in relief.

If it weren’t for Sans, you definitely wouldn’t go tonight.

* * *

Sans was waiting for you outside the locker room, and you walked to the bar together. It was only a block away, and you’d seen this place a few times before when you’d driven by. It was exactly the kind of place Turner would pick: loud, obnoxious people in a loud, obnoxious building.

Sans didn’t care about the place. He’d been here in the other timelines. If it lined up, there would be a fistfight at 11:25 and the place would clear out by midnight. What he was really focused on was you.

This was the first time with you, obviously. He didn’t know what to do, and that made him giddy. It’s been a long time since he’d been nervous. Since he’d not known what was going to happen.

The bar was loud with hip hop music, and packed with drunk people. Sans put his hand on your shoulder, guiding you through the crowd. Well, there was no crowd in your way anymore. Not with a six foot tall skeleton monster looming behind you. People parted like the Red Sea, and you saw Turner and the other guys from the lab sitting at the bar. They noticed the crowd moving, and Turner broke into a grin when he saw you. The grin faltered when he saw Sans, but only for a moment.

“Hey, you guys made it! I saved a seat for you right here, y/n.” The use of your actual name was suspicious, but you graciously took the seat offered, and Sans took the one on the other side of you.

A large monster that looked like a ram served you a drink before you could ask. You looked up quizzically.

“From me.” Turner said. You turned your confused gaze on him. “Toldja I’d save a drink for you.”

Well, that’s true. Unfortunately, when you tried to take a sip, you fumbled it and it spilled everywhere.

“Shit,” you hissed.

“oh, bad luck,” Sans said from you right, handing you some napkins. Why did it seem like he knew that was going to happen? “here, i’ll buy you another.”

“On the house,” drawled the fluffy bartender. He poured you another, and put it down. He exchanged a glance with Sans, and Sans nodded at him. Was that a monster thing or…?

“used to live in the same town underground with that guy. real good guy, he’ll take care of ya.” Sans said.

“Do all monsters know each other?” You asked incredulously.

“more or less. it was a small place, underground. the only ones i don’t know are the ones born on the surface, but i used to work for the royal family so i went everywhere. most monsters stay put in their towns.” The ram placed a drink in front of Sans. “thanks, man.”

Sans’ drink glowed bright turquoise, like toxic waste. “Oh my Lord, what  _ is _ that?”

“monster whiskey. strong stuff.” he said, taking a leisurely sip. “prob’ly three times as strong as human whiskey, give or take a hangover.”

“So!” Turner’s loud voice interrupted, making you irritated. You had forgotten for a blissful moment that it wasn’t just you and Sans here. You took a big sip of your drink, turned on your best ‘yes, Dr. Turner’ attitude, and whipped around to give him your attention.

The blonde man was leaning towards you on the bar. “Is there something you needed, Doctor?” you said politely.

“I told you, we’re off the clock.” He put a hand on your knee. You tried not to stiffen up. After all, despite his misogyny and such, Turner had always been a gentleman before.“Call me Erik.”

“...Erik.”

He chuckled. “Good. Now, y/n, tell me...do you remember that first week of your internship? You were so nervous, and adorable. Well...you still get that way now sometimes. Anyway, you have a brilliant mind. Why don’t you teach?”

You felt like his compliment was backhanded. You polished off your first drink, and the ram gave you a refill. “Because I don’t like teaching, I want to research.”

“Hmmm...I see.” There was laughter in his voice at the idea. You felt your knuckles tighten around your glass. What an ass. But...you weren’t going to let it get to you. You came here to enjoy yourself. Quick, change the subject!

“Is this place a regular visit for you….Erik?” It was a struggle to get his first name out.

“Oh, yeah, I come here all the time.” The hand on your knee squeezed unexpectedly, causing you to squeak and jump slightly. You didn’t see Sans watching the conversation from the corner of his eye, glowing drink disappearing fast. “You should come here more. Dancing, drinks. I’d love to see you dressed up like this more often.”

How you had ever found such a slimy man attractive was beyond you. He seemed a million times slimier now that you had Sans to compare him to.

“hey, doc, why is organic chemistry so difficult?” You were so grateful for Sans’ distraction.

Turner blinked and looked up at the monster. “Uhh...I dunno, why?”

“because those who study it have alkynes of trouble.” Sans said, grin stretching wide. Turner and the other scientists with him began laughing amongst themselves, and they set off on their own joke-telling contest. You sighed in relief as Turner’s hand left your thigh.

“Thanks, dude.” You said.

“heh. anytime.”

* * *

How many drinks had you had? He couldn’t tell, he’d lost count. Maybe he shouldn’t have been drinking either. Especially since Turner was there, trying to hit on a very uncomfortable you all night. But drink he had, and that relaxed, up for anything attitude had been switched on.

Maybe that’s how he’d ended up dancing with you, disappearing into a throng of people, away from Turner.

You were very giggly, and your cheeks were pink. You gripped his sweatshirt as you danced(stars, he never danced, how embarrassing), determined to stay standing. The smell of wisteria blossoms was all he could smell, radiating off you, more intoxicating than the drink.  _ focus, sans, you can’t get too dizzy. stay alert. _ He loved your dress, swirly skirt teasing as you spun, floating just high enough to be exciting but not high enough to see anything.

He looked at the clock. 11:15. Ten minutes till the fistfight. He could see the guys in question squaring up by the jukebox. He glanced back at the bar, where Turner was engaged in a debate with the other scientists. Good. Distracted.

“hey, darlin’,” he pulled you close so he could talk in your ear. “let’s get outta here while mop top ain’t lookin’.”

You probably would have followed him anywhere at that point. So follow you did, trailing behind him as he pulled you to the door by your hand.

“Where are we going?” You said, giggling behind him as the two of you stumbled along.

“anywhere but here!”

Next thing he knew, he was back at the lab, and the two of you were having a hushed exchange in the dark.

“I’m glad we got away from that place,” you said, pulling him into the infirmary. “And Turner.”

“he was makin’ you call ‘im erik,” he chuckled, following your slight tug eagerly. Serves that asshat right, getting ditched. He could see pretty well in the dark, despite being smashed, so he was pretty shocked when you started peeling off your dress. It occured to him, when you pulled out some other clothes, that you thought he couldn’t see.

Shit. He needed to distract you before you put something else on.

“hey, you can really hold your liquor.” He said, a slur in his words as he moved closer to you. You stopped, setting the clothes on the desk. You seemed to forget your indecency as you giggled in response. His eyelights travelled up and down, drinking in your black bra and matching lace panties. If he was sober he would have covered you up. But he was drunk, so who needs morals?

“I had to drink to for...forget Turner’s sssttupid voice as he reminded me yet again of the anti fraterwhosit policy.” You slurred, laughing.

“yeah, w’sup with that, anyway?” he said. His hands were on you. When had he done that? Your skin was soft, and he wanted to touch it forever. Wisteria and whiskey was his new favorite smell.

You sighed under his touch, leaning in to wrap your arms around him.

“It means we can’t date because reasons. S’stupid.”

“does it say anything about kissing?” He asked boldly, tipping your head up to look at him. You smiled at him.

“Nope, just romantic entanglement, whatever that means.”

“so i could…”

He kissed you, and you kissed him. The giggling and chuckling from you both interrupted briefly, but then he kissed you harder. You moaned a little and that was it. Self control was out the window.

He had you on the infirmary bed instantly, and you were pulling him down desperately, trying to kiss him harder. His head was too fuzzy to think, instead focusing on the smell of you, the lace on your underwear, how you taste...You tasted like whiskey.

“wanna fraternize a little?” he joked breathlessly in your ear. “promise i won’t tell.”

“The policy doesn’t mention kissing,” you responded. “Or….sex…”

“is that a yes?”

“That’s a ‘fuck yes’.”

* * *

Woah.

Your head hurt. And you’d had a strange dream. Was it a dream?

You peeked one eye open, and the infirmary greeted you. You took note of everything. You were wearing clothes. Sans wasn’t there. The only evidence that you drank was the throbbing headache you now had.

You sighed. Even if it’s a relief that you didn’t, it wouldn’t have been so bad if you did. The dream had been so hot, you were pretty sure you came in your sleep, and you were drunk, so eh. You’d learned not to care about that stuff, or it eats at you. Besides...if it was Sans, it would've been alright.

You sat up, only to groan and lay down again.

Drunk you is an asshole for drinking so much.

* * *

Sans woke up in his own bed, confused. Was that a dream? Or did something happen?

Frustrated and unsure, he dragged himself from bed and got ready for work anyway. As he dressed himself slowly, he looked in the mirror, thinking about how he had so much to do today. Next time he went drinking, he’d do it on a day where he  _ didn’t _ have to get up for work the next day.

Given the fact that he had woken up at home instead of with you, he had to assume it was a dream. He sighed, rubbing his skull as he surveyed his sleepless face. He wished it were real.

The way you’d moaned and pleaded, scratched his ribs, sighed and writhed...how you’d screamed pleasurably while he bit your neck, marked you…

He shook his head. He can’t let himself get so worked up over a dream, or he wouldn’t be able to face you.

He teleported to work, popping up just in front of your desk out of habit. When his eyes met yours, you blushed a furious red, and he matched you in blue.

“Oh! Y-you startled me, Doctor!” You said, back to your professional tone. Yeah, it had to have been a dream.

“heh. sorry, i’m good at that.” He turned away, trying not to imagine you naked.

“By the way, thanks for walking me back here last night. I must have been a mess. All I can remember is dancing and drinking,” you said with a little laugh.

“no big deal, always lookin’ out for ya.”

You put down the stack of papers in your hands, folding them under you to lean on your desk. “Do you know if I like, fell down at all or something?”

Hmmm. He didn’t remember anything like that. “not that i can recall.”

“Huh.” One of your hands fluttered to your neck, rubbing. You winced a little.

“you ok?”

“Yeah, I think I fell down or something. I haven’t had a chance to look at it, though.”

He blinked over to your side of the desk. “i can take a look. i got some healin’ magic, if it’s not too bad i could probably fix it.”

“Oh, that sounds great,” you said with a sigh of relief. You removed your coat and let him push the fabric of your shirt aside.

His hand froze.

No.

No fucking way.

A big purple bruise marked your neck, but not just any bruise. Oh, no, this was teeth marks.  _ His _ teeth marks. He knew them anywhere. His eyesockets widened as it dawned on him that it hadn’t been a dream, that he really had done all that, he had really fucking marked you.

“Is it bad?”

“o-oh, no, no, not terrible. i can heal it no problem, never even know it was there.” He placed his palm on top of the teeth marks, letting the healing flow as he panicked silently. What if it didn’t heal all the way? What if you found out? He knew he’d been drunk but you were smashed too and that was just wrong.

“Ooohhh my gosh...that’s so much better,” you sighed as he pulled his hand away. Oh thank the stars the bruise was gone.

But he knew it didn’t matter. He could see it already, he knew what he’d done.

On your neck was a twinkling blue teardrop, a monster’s mark. It glowed gently, marking you as his own, invisible to human eyes.

So much for that no fraternization policy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans, you dun fuqed up.


	3. Alkynes of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans laments drunk Sans' poor decisions. You go apartment hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transitional Chapter.  
> Sans is so cute, I love him so much!

_ calm down, sansy, it ain’t the end of the world. _

He tried to tell himself that, but the shaking in his bones didn’t listen.

After he’d healed you, he’d teleported suddenly away to deal with his feelings.

On the one hand, he wouldn’t have been able to mark you if your souls weren’t compatible. And the mark was small right now, so his scent only lingered a little. Being a boss monster, this meant that you would be generally left alone by monsters that might normally pester or hurt you, but it wouldn’t stop other boss monsters yet.

On the other hand, he’d just marked you with his magic without your consent, without you even knowing what marking was, and without you even realizing you’d had sex, which essentially made him a really bad case of date rape. He had no idea what your feelings were for him, and had no business marking you just like that. He didn’t even know if he should tell you or hope the mark would fade.

He scratched his skull, wracking his brain to try to remember more about the night before. All he could really remember was the steamy parts, and lots of thoughts about how much of a douche Turner was.

Shit.

Turner.

If Turner found out you two had...been together...he’d fire you in a heartbeat. He’s a petty man who has his eyes on you so he wasn’t above something like that. And it wasn’t even your fault…

“Oh, Doctor, here you are!”

Speak of the devil.

Sans turned towards the locker room door to see Turner putting his things in his locker, drawing his labcoat out and giving Sans a nod.

“I thought I’d find you by the front desk as usual. Trouble with the lady?”

“ah, no, no trouble, since she ain’t my lady.” Fat lies in the worst way.

“I’m just teasing you, Doctor. I can tell by her face that she doesn’t have anyone on the brain.” He slipped his coat on. “Are you coming?”

“y-yeah, be right out.”

With a wink and some finger guns, Turner was gone.

* * *

After Sans healed you, he disappeared. It was really strange, but you figured he had work to do and ignored it.

At his usual break time, he didn’t come around.

During his lunch, he also didn’t come around.

In fact, you had seen him a handful of times in the hall, and he always disappeared before you could say anything.

You were now sitting at your desk, flipping through a Science Digest, barely registering the article you were reading on String Theory. You were busy trying to remember last night, trying to remember if you’d said something that may have offended him and given him a reason to avoid you. But then again, he’d acted normal this morning?

You sighed, closing the magazine. It was almost time to knock off, anyway. You needed to go apartment hunting this afternoon, so you decided to use it to your advantage to escape the awkward avoidance.

You placed your reading glasses on the table, rubbing your eyes gently as you rose from your seat. You marked a couple things in the desk planner, and then tossed your bag over your shoulder.

“hey.”

You looked up to see Sans standing by the desk, looking a little shy. He was pretty good at sneaking up on you.

“Hey,” you responded. You weren’t sure if you should be worried or angry about his avoidance.

“uh, how’s your neck?” He asked, looking up at you sheepishly.

“It’s alright now, thanks for healing it for me.”

“s’no problem. is it tingling at all?”

What an odd question. “Nope, not that I’ve noticed. Why, is that a side effect of the magic?”

A look of panic crossed his face for a split second, but then he was wearing his usual grin. “oh, you mean the healing magic? uh, yeah, sometimes but not often. it ain’t gonna hurtcha.”

“Oh.” You adjusted the bag on your shoulder, an awkward silence falling over the two of you. “Well, uhm, I’m knocking off early to go apartment hunting, so…”

He looked surprised. “you’re gonna go out? now?”

“Yes...why, is that weird?”

He scratched his skull. “n...not weird, it’s just...well, there’re weirdos out there, y’know?”

“Thanks for the concern, Doctor, but I really can’t afford to not apartment hunt.” You walked out from behind the desk, tossing him a nervous smile as you passed. He stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

“w-wait. i’ll go with ya. just lemme clock out.”

He didn’t really give you a chance to respond as he walked off to the locker room. It would be rude to just leave...you shrugged and set your bag on the desk. Maybe he hadn’t been avoiding you, but just had a lot of work? If he was avoiding you then he wouldn’t have invited himself along.

He came back sporting his signature blue hoodie instead of his lab coat, and his usual unreadable grin.

“ready?”

* * *

“i can’t imagine you living here, though.” Sans said, with a face that looked like he was just being polite. Sure, it wasn’t the nicest apartment building you’d ever seen, and the neighborhood wasn’t great, but the price was right.

“It’s in my price range so I look at it,” you said, shrugging. Even though the wallpaper was crumbling...and the carpet smelled.

“guess i’m lucky i never had to worry ‘bout money. turns out gold is pretty valuable up here.”

“Ah, lucky you.”

You told the realtor you’d think on it, and walked out. After some deliberation, Sans suggested taking a coffee break, and you ended up at a little hipster joint in the art district. There was a skeevy looking gator monster hanging around outside, but one look at Sans and he was gone.

You crossed the last place off your map. You didn’t say you wanted it, just that you’d look at it.

“why not look at houses? a mortgage can be cheaper than the rent you’re lookin’ at.” Sans leaned on one hand, grinning over at you from across the table. “plus the neighborhoods we been to...i don’t like ‘em.”

You sighed. If only it were that easy. “Because of my student loans, my credit is shit. Nobody would ever give me a mortgage.”

“so credit’s more important than just the ability to pay the money?”

“Mmmm-hmm, unfortunately.”

“i’ll never understand some things up here.” he said with a sigh. “i guess you’ll have to  _ loan _ me some patience.”

You chuckled at his bad pun. At least he was back to somewhat normal. And not avoiding you. Which reminds you…

“I missed you today.” You mustered up your best pout. “You didn’t come visit me at all.”

He looked startled at the comment, and a little bit of blue dusted his cheekbones. He quickly sat back, hiding his blush and nervous grin behind a skeletal hand.

“s-sorry, tucker had me runnin’ all ‘round today. i don’t think he likes me hangin’ around your desk.” He chuckled a little. “not that i truly care what he thinks.”

You were relieved to hear that he hadn’t been avoiding you. “Good. I thought you were avoiding me, and I was worried I might have done something embarrassing or offensive last night and you didn’t like me anymore.”

“not like ya? that’d never happen.” His blush was gone, his usual bravado dancing across his face instead. “but nah, it was just work gettin’ in the way. hey, good news is, when t-bag is gone, we’ll be together all the time in the lab.”

You looked up at him, surprised. That was the first time he’d ever verbally confirmed that he’d let you work in the lab with him. You couldn’t help the idiotic, giddy smile that crossed your face. “You’re the first person in that lab who’s ever treated me like a person.”

“well, they’re missin’ out on a pretty swell gal, so joke’s on them.” He stood, extending a hand to you. “c’mon, you got more places on that list, right?”

You blushed a little as you accepted his hand. It felt nice and natural...you wish he’d never let go…

No, Y/N, you can’t think that way. That fraternization thing could cost you your job, just when you’re about to actually do some real work. It shouldn’t be so hard to choose between your life’s passion and romance! It never was!

But...for the first time, you felt conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what will happen next...


	4. The Physics of Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You attend the yearly scientist's gala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for adorbz confident Sans

You glanced up at Sans, who was spread out on your desk again. This time he looked to be sleeping, but his shit-eating grin made you think otherwise.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” You set your book down. “What are you doing?”

He snickered. “just participating in a paid sleep study. it’s my  _ dream _ job.”

You laughed, and his eyesockets opened, turning on you as his smile grew wider. “Okay, okay, that was a good one. You got me.”

He rolled onto his side, his lab coat hanging slightly off one arm as he propped his head up. He picked up a paper from your left and read it as you moved some busywork over that was in danger of being kicked off. You recognized the paper he had picked up.

“so the big doc has a scientist’s gala tonight?” He asked, handing you back the invitation letter.

“Technically, we all do.” You took it from him, stuffing it into the filing cabinet. “But I’m not going. And I’m pretty sure he told you yesterday.”

“i don’t really listen when he talks. why aren’t you going? you would really have a  _ ball _ .” You rolled your eyes, and he chuckled at you.

“Well, I was going to be Turner’s date, but he already has one. Since I’m technically not part of his team, I can only go if I’m somebody’s plus one. So, no gala for me.” You may be a little bitter about it. You were really looking forward to this.

“now, wait a minute. aren’t you overlooking a punny yet sophisticated scientist who has only just found out he’s going to a gala?” he made an exaggerated sigh and leaned his head back dramatically, bringing his hand to his forehead. “gee whiz, where will i ever find a date on such short notice?”

You giggled. “I dunno, Doctor, who’re you gonna  _ gala _ vant around with this evening?”

He snapped his head back up, directing his grin at you again. There was a playful twinkle in his eye. “well, i don’t mean to  _ dance _ around the subject, but  _ party _ of the problem is that i just don’t know if she’d say yes.”

“If it’s with you, she’d be insane not to.” You smiled at him. Whoever he went with would be lucky as hell and entertained all night. You were kind of jealous. You stood, wiggling a memo out from under his elbow. “She’ll be a lucky girl, whoever she is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some copies to make.”

And with that, you swept out of the room, not reading his blatant dumbfounded expression of disbelief.

He scratched his skull. Had he been too subtle? He thought for sure you’d gotten the drift that he wanted to go with you. He blinked off your desk and followed you to the copy room. He’d just have to be more obvious.

“it’s hard to find a date these days,” he said, falling in step with you. “do ya  _ copy _ ?”

“Not sure I know what you mean, doctor. Surely you have friends?” You said, giving him a genuinely confused look as you turned into the copy room.

“you don’t know where i can find one?” he said, blinking in front of you to sit on the copier. “you don’t even have a  _ ink _ ling?”

You waved him off the copier and lifted the lid. “I really don’t think I’m the best person to find you a date.”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nosebone.

“y/n. darlin’. i’m asking you.”

“I know you’re asking me, and I’m telling you I don’t know!”

He flicked you gently on the forehead.

“to the gala, sweetheart.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

He watched you flush deep red in embarrassment as you realized what he meant. Stars, you were adorable.

“Oh! Ohhhh my gosh I’m so dumb!” You gasped, more to yourself than him. “Y-yes, yes, I’ll...I’ll go with you.”

You looked like a super cute tomato. He liked that. The color of ketchup.

“red looks good on ya.” he chuckled. “but i’ll be wearin’ blue. same color as my sweatshirt.”

You stammered a short reply, and he could see the gears turning as you realized you’d need a dress.

“i’ll pick you up here at 5:30.”

* * *

You adjusted yourself, gazing into the mirror nervously. You had let the saleslady talk you into this dress. A sweetheart neckline, with off-the-shoulder lace sleeves and a long flowy skirt. It had looked great when you’d tried it on in purple, but when you got the correct color...well, you looked like Elsa.

Disney princess-ness (queen-ness?) aside, you didn’t have time to find another dress, so you just accepted it at face value and did your best with your hair and makeup to  _ not _ look like Elsa.

Perfect. Hopefully.

You turned and left the locker room, eager to meet Sans and get going.

You were met by someone...not Sans.

A tall blue fish monster with long red hair stood before you, dressed in formal royal guard wear that you had only ever seen in pictures. You expected her to speak with the softest, most eloquent voice you’d ever heard, but…

“HEY NERD! Are you y/n? That nerd Sans is still getting pretty, so he asked me to come getcha.”

You stared up at her in confusion. She looked at you funny.

“Well, come on, ya dingus! Let’s get going!”

And with that, she grabbed you with a webbed hand and dragged you out of the lab, your heels clicking quickly as you tried to keep up.

* * *

The fish lady’s name was Undyne. Turned out her girlfriend was the royal scientist, and the honored guest speaker at the gala tonight. Sans was coming later with her, so you waited with Undyne for them to show up.

Despite her loudness, Undyne was good company. You enjoyed her energy.

“So you’re a scientist, too, right? But Sans said you couldn’t come without a date?” She asked at one point, adjusting her ceremonial sword so she could lean against the building.

“Well, the head scientist at my lab doesn’t really believe in women in STEM positions,” you said, not even trying to mask your bitterness. “So I’ve not been allowed to do any research worth a title.”

“WHAT?!” Undyne shrieked, pushing off the wall. She looked super pumped, and ready to break something. “UGH! Misogynistic bastard! You just point him out inside, I’ll show him what a real woman can do!”

“No, no, it’s fine! Since Sans is going to take over in a month or so, it’s really fine. He’s always treated me like we’re on an even keel.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool for a nerd. But you’re a nerd, so you’re perfect together.”

You stammered, turning away to hide your blush. “O-oh, no, Sans and I are just friends.”

Undyne let out a short, loud bark of a laugh. “Ha! Good one!”

“I...I’m serious!” This was embarrassing. Were you that transparent? “We’re partners, it would be indecent and unprofessional.

She looked at you, trying to see if you were joking. Not seeing a lie in your eyes, she let out a whistle, eyes flicking to your neck and then back to you.

“Well, uh, if you insist.”

She looked like she might be wondering something, and ceased her chatter. The silence was welcome, and surprisingly not awkward.

“If you weren’t partners,” Undyne said suddenly. “then…?”

You sighed. “In a heartbeat, if he’d have me.”

You jumped, surprised that you’d said that aloud, and Undyne laughed, a doofy grin etched across her face.

“That settles it, I totally ship it.” She said, laughter still shaking her shoulders.

Your face screwed up into a strange look, trying to figure out what she meant. Did she mean it like people ship fictional characters? Or did it mean something else for monsters? And why had you said that so matter-of-factly, that you’d be with him if you weren’t partners? It’s true that you had a weak spot for bad jokes and guys who treated you as an equal, but who doesn’t?

Your train of thought was interrupted by a cherry red hot rod pulling up, driven by a tall skeleton with a red scarf. And when you say tall, you mean TALL. This skeleton had to be at least 8 feet.

To your surprise, an adorable yellow dinosaur stepped out of the vehicle, wearing a purple and black dress with sparkles. From Undyne’s slack-jawed reaction, you assumed this was Alphys, Undyne’s girlfriend and the royal scientist herself.

The drake adjusted her glasses, blushing furiously as she shyly accepted her girlfriend’s excited embrace.

The tall skeleton threw the car in park and stepped out of the vehicle. He greeted Undyne familiarly, and when his eyes fell on you, a huge smile grew on his skull.

“YOU MUST BE DOCTOR Y/N!” He extended a gloved hand to shake yours vigorously. “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! SANS IS MY OLDER BROTHER! EH, HE SHOULD BE HERE...ANY MINUTE?”

As if on queue, or maybe he was purposefully waiting for comedic timing, he was suddenly there.

You blushed. He looked really good in his dark gray tux, and his usual blue made it’s appearance as a tie.

“sorry i  _ tux _ so long, heh.” He chuckled.

“BROTHER! YOU HAVE MADE THIS BEAUTEOUS LADY WAIT LONG ENOUGH! YOU LAZYBONES!” Papyrus dusted Sans’ shoulders off, adjusting his tie. Sans let his brother fuss over him, and you saw the look of adoration in his eyes as he did. He must really love his brother.

“sorry, bro, i guess i was just…” he trailed off, whatever pun he’d had loaded forgotten as his eyelights landed on you. His cocky grin turned into a look of awe, cerulean blush glowing gently from his face as Papyrus finished fussing and patted him on the back, making him hop toward you.

He put his hand up to say something, and suddenly there was a flower that looked like a daisy in it. Papyrus was whistling away behind him.

Sans made a noise like he was clearing his throat, if he had one, and held the flower out to you.

“uh...for you.” He said, grinning down at you.

“Thank you, Sans,” you said, accepting the flower as you blushed.

“ _ Thank you, Sans” _ echoed the flower softly. It echoed, fading back to quiet.

“Woah! How does it do that?” You flipped the flower back and forth as it echoed the words you said. You tried to search for the source of the echoed noise. “Does it have a hollowed stem? Or solid audio refractory petals?”

“actually,” Sans said, putting his hand on top of yours to lower the flower. “it’s just magic. heh.”

Magic was amazing! It could even make a flower talk! You smiled brightly at him and stuck the flower in the small bag slung over your shoulder.

“WELL! Let’s get inSIDE already!!” Undyne shouted impatiently, offering her arm to Alphys, who took it gratefully.

Sans shrugged, holding his own arm out, which you accepted without hesitation. He tucked his arm back down and you walked into the ballroom together, trailing slightly behind Alphys and Undyne as the fish monster proudly marched into the building shouting “LOOK AT MY CUTE GIRLFRIEND! LOOK AT HER!”

The building was certainly grand enough for an event such as a gala. As you entered, Sans gave a well-dressed man with a spear, and he called out your names to the whole building.

“Doctor Sans Skeleton and Doctor Y/N, from Mt. Ebott Labs and Research!”

You snapped to attention, slack-jawed as the man introduced you as Doctor. Sans chuckled.

“why are you surprised? you have a doctorate, so that’s your name.” he said, using his other hand to pat yours that he held onto his arm.

“S-sorry, it’s still surprising to hear…”

You swept down the stairs together as people politely clapped at your entrance. You kind of felt like a princess. A huge chandelier lit up the room, and an expansive dance floor was surrounded by dinner tables full of people. A huge buffet table with an ice sculpture shaped like the atomic makeup of water lined one wall, and a string band made beautiful music on the stage.

You were so busy surveying the scene, you didn’t realize that Sans couldn’t take his eyelights off of you.

“It’s gorgeous!” You said excitedly.

“yeah…” Sans agreed, a huge grin spreading across his face. His eyes flicked to the sparkling teardrop on your shoulder, the same color as your dress. Undyne’s eye was boring a hole in the back of his head, so he knew she was looking at it as well.

“Doctor Sans, I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it!” Sans cringed at Turner’s voice, and he sadly noticed you slip your arm out from under his and step away. Turner rose from his table to shake Sans’ hand, which he reluctantly returned.

“wouldn’t miss it. one-a my best friends is the key speaker.” he used his left hand to motion to Alphys behind him, as Turner still had a vice grip on his right.

Turner barely looked at Alphys, the look on his face easily readable. He didn’t think a female should be a key speaker at a science gala, monster or not.  Instead of addressing Alphys, his gaze moved to you, and he turned on the charm. Releasing Sans’ hand, he moved between the two of you to snake one arm around you, his hand on the small of your back as he tried to lead you to his table.

“Ah, y/n, so glad you were able to make it after all. You look simply stunning in that dress. I told you you should dress up more often.” His hand began to travel south.

Both Sans and Undyne started to move toward him, but stopped themselves when you pushed him away gently but firmly.

“I don’t mean to be rude, Doctor, but it seems you already have a date, and your table is full. I think I should be sitting with mine, and you yours?” Your smile was sickly sweet, with a hint of venom. The blonde girl Turner had brought cleared her throat, hiking her skirt up a little as if to remind him of her presence.

He dropped his hand. “Of course, you’re right. But don’t be strangers, you two, and I sincerely hope you’ll save me that dance you owe me.”

He winked at you and turned back to the blonde, who huffed and turned her head.

Sans relaxed as you looked at him, giving him a huge smile and a thumbs up, and then turned to follow Alphys to find a seat.

“Damn, nerd, you got yourself a firecracker.” Undyne muttered, leaning on his head. “But she seems to think there’s nothing between you.”

“just friends,” he chuckled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Undyne slapped her hand down on his skull, squeezing. “Shut the fuck up, nerd, I got at least one good eye. I can see your mark, clear as day. You are in  _ so _ much trouble.”

Sans swatted her hands off his head with a grimace. “in trouble with who? she can’t see it.”

“In trouble with  _ me _ ...if you fuck this up.” Undyne said, bringing her hand back to push him forward. “So hurry up and romance the squirt!”

“it ain’t that simple, ‘dyne. we’re professional partners.” he grumbled as they approached the table you picked.

“Oh, Sans! I got so distracted by everything that I forgot to tell you!” You said, smiling as he approached. He took the vacant seat next to you and leaned back nonchalantly.

“and what’s that?” He asked, flashing his signature grin.

“...You look really nice tonight.” You blushed as the words left your mouth, but it didn’t match the flush that he hid quickly behind a hand.

“y-yeah. you too. you look...really great…” he stammered.

“YOU BOTH LOOK GREAT!” Undyne shouted suddenly, slamming a hand on the table. “Shut up and smooch already!”

Sans looked at his fishy friend, mortified, but you just laughed it off, rolling your eyes. He was sorta relieved, but it kinda jabbed his ego a little until he saw the blush dusting your cheeks.

You had no idea what he could be thinking behind that stone face of his. As you laughed and joked with Undyne, he looked over at you with a blank expression, as if stuck. 

Was he just mortified at the idea of smooching you? Ugh. Probably. You’d only met like three people in your life that you knew wanted to smooch you: two of them were exes and one was an ex-stalker. But you brushed it off like it was nothing, turning your attention on the group of people in front of you. It was a shame that Papyrus had only been the wheels, because you had kinda wanted to get to know him better. He seemed like a really great guy, and Sans loved him so much.

In fact, Sans was talking about him right now. His stony gaze had devolved into a chuckle and a grin as he relayed stories of baby Papyrus growing up. Undyne snagged an entire tray of drinks and set them down. You picked up a flute of champagne, only for Undyne to swipe it from you.

“Friends don’t let friends drink sissy drinks!” Undyne said, slamming a glass of something in front of you. “And we’re friends now, so get used to it!”

“I don’t really do hard liquor,” you mumbled, but you accepted the drink anyway. That fish lady was scary...but well-meaning.

The drink turned out to be a mixed drink, like a dirty shirley temple or something. It left the taste of grenadine on your lips and a tingle on your tongue.

Sans had also received a drink, but his was some weird monster drink again. It was thick like honey, and golden like honey. In fact, you thought it might just be alcoholic honey.

He caught your stare and laughed. “i got family somewhere that eats this shit for breakfast, but it’s too sweet for me usually. i prefer ketchup.”

He laughed as you wrinkled your nose at the suggestion of drinking ketchup. He dismissed it, blaming his monster taste buds. You watched as he lapped at the honey leisurely, a bright blue tongue flitting in and out of his mouth. That was weirder than the ketchup.

Eventually, it was time for Alphys’ speech, and while she stuttered a bit, you found it fascinating. Her ideas on magical technology and their practical human world uses were amazing, and you couldn’t help but take notes on your napkin. After all, there weren’t many opportunities for you to use that big brain of yours, so this was exciting.

After the speech, Undyne swept her blushing girlfriend out onto the dance floor, leaving you alone with Sans, who was starting to look a little drunk.

“you ever been to a big dance like this before?” He asked. Maybe he wasn’t drunk. He didn’t slur at all.

“Just my high school prom but...I...didn’t enjoy myself.” You said, twisting your napkin under your fingers nervously. This was kind of a touchy subject. His fingers brushed your shoulder, and you relaxed. He was good at that.

“sorry to hear it. but we can forget about that, let’s enjoy ourselves twice as much here.”

He was standing now, holding his hand out to you with a shy blush on his cheekbones. You distinctly remember him saying he doesn’t dance.

“I thought you didn’t dance,” you teased, taking his hand. He pulled you to the dance floor with a chuckle, spinning you expertly.

“i choose not to, don’t mean i can’t.” He pulled you close into waltz position, stepping flawlessly into time with the music. Right now, you were kind of glad you looked like a disney princess, because you felt like one. You had never learned waltz, but he was an expert at leading, making you feel like a professional. “dancing is just physics and math applied to movement. music stimulates the  orbitofrontal cortex and activates the cerebullum, and the physical movement stimulates an endorphin rush. and so, i dance.”

Holy shit was he speaking your language. You heard Undyne nearby call him a nerd, but you ignored her. There was nothing cooler than a cool guy like Sans talking nerdy. You couldn’t stop yourself.

“Oooh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me,” you joked as he spun you. The startled look on his face made you reconsider your boldness, but then his grin returned with wicked vengeance.

“is that so?” He said with a laugh. “in that case…”

He launched into a tirade on the physics of dancing, gravitational pull, torque, center of gravity. Then, as the waltz melted into faster pace, he spun you around, talking about how different chord progressions can make your brain think different things.

“abstract notes that don’t progress naturally can make you think abstract thought, like pondering existence in a proverbial forest.” he said, dipping you. His free hand trailed up your side, resting his fingertips on your face. “...and music with symphonic chords and swelling bursts can elicit feelings of ecstasy and...make you do things you wouldn’t normally do...”

“Like dance?” You asked, the feeling of his fingertips setting your face ablaze with a furious blush.

He chuckled. “yeah, sure. like dance.”

He pulled you back upright, giving you one last spin as the music faded. You were breathing heavily, you found, but whether it was from the dancing or his intelligent flirtatiousness, you couldn’t tell.

There was a tap on your shoulder.

You turned to see Turner, who took you by the hand. “Mind if I cut in?”

“Actually, I’m kind of--” He pulled you in, twirling you away without letting you finish. You’d really hoped to take a break right now.

Turner was a lot clumsier than Sans, though you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t danced with Sans first. His conversation was lacking, probably because he didn’t deem you worthy of talking science. Instead he went on about how beautiful you looked, how gracefully you moved, and how he was glad you’d saved a dance for him.

You kept glancing back at Sans, but his face was unreadable from here.

“You really are a gem, aren’t you?” Turner said, nudging you to turn back to him. “You’ve really bloomed these last few weeks. Is it because of a certain scientist you’ve grown fond of over there?”

“Doctor Sans and I are just friends.” You said, feeling uncomfortable under his unwavering gaze.

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said, spinning you a little too fast. “Then you’re free for a date? Let’s say next Friday?”

You looked up at him, flabbergasted, with no idea how to answer that. Of course you didn’t want to date him, but...if you refused, he’d accuse you of having feelings for Sans, and you’d lose your job to that stupid fraternization rule. Or worse, Sans would lose his, leaving you with Turner, alone, all over again.

“I’m waiting. Or is it true that you are in an illicit affair?”

“N-no! I told you, we’re just friends.” You couldn’t stand it if you had to go back to the way things were, without Sans, and there was no way you would find another lab willing to take you if you got fired. Hot tears threatened your eyes. What an ass!

“Alrighty, then next Friday, 6:00? Wear something pretty.”

He pulled you close, and no matter how much you leaned back, you couldn’t avoid him planting a fat kiss on your cheek. As he released you, you scurried away to the bathroom without a second glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Her dress looked [like this except lighter blue](http://image.dhgate.com/0x0/f2/albu/g3/M00/3A/D9/rBVaHVVfMu6AbhzMAADjVqKxlKM401.jpg)  
> I am really glad Turner's not going to be around very long...hopefully


	5. Loose Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You overhear something that makes you rethink how you feel about Sans.  
> At dinner with Turner, you get some surprising news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry this took so long  
> I'm really focusing on SSiYC right now that I honestly forgot I hadn't posted this chapter lol.

After you emptied your stomach in the fanciest bathroom you’d ever seen, you stayed in the bathroom for a long time. Hot tears threatened to ruin your carefully done makeup as you sat in a ball in the bathroom stall, tugging at your dress.

You’d finally done it. You’d told yourself you never would, that you have more self-respect than that. But here you were, basically whoring yourself out for the slight chance that you can do some real work in the lab. Well, let’s face it, you didn’t care about the science so much as the chance to work with Sans. If you’d said no, you knew that Turner would have fired one or both of you under the pretense of fraternization. It was so frustrating, especially because as much as you will admit you enjoyed Sans’ presence, there had been no fraternization and there never would be! Especially now that you were...ugh. _Dating_ Turner.

You prayed he’d be satisfied after just one date.

You heard Alphys and Undyne calling to you in the bathroom. You stammered an excuse through the stall door, and when they were gone, you slipped away from the gala and went home early.

_ Sorry, Sans. _

* * *

Sans tapped his pencil on the desk in front of him. Your desk.

You were gonna abandon the gala without a word? Okay, he could understand that. Undyne said you had gotten sick. But ignoring him? Walking away when you saw him, avoiding his eyes, for the whole next week after? He’d tried to talk to you, even teleported to catch up to you, but every time you had stuttered an excuse or been called over by Turner.

So, he’d parked his bones right in your chair. You’d need something from this desk eventually, so you’d need to talk to him eventually. He felt anxious. Had he done something to offend you at the gala? He didn’t know much about humans, so he really hoped he hadn’t. But then, you’d been pretty happy until McDouche had swept you off to dance. That was the last he saw of you, Turner planting a kiss on your cheek and you running off. Did you decide that you liked Turner and couldn’t face him? That seemed unlikely, Turner was practically the devil to you. Still, stranger things had happened.

You had been a sight to see in that dress, too. And the way you listened with rapt attention as he had discussed the physics of dance...stars, you were so enticing, red-faced and curious, looking at him in wonder. Even though you had a doctorate in physics, you still found everything he had to say on the matter fascinating. He’d never had anyone care about his nerd babble like that before…

“O-oh, Doctor Sans, you’re here…”

He jumped in your seat, looking up at you. How long had he been spacing out? He felt embarrassment stain his cheekbones, the goofy smile still plastered on his face from his memories. He rubbed his face, trying to rub it away as he stood.

“y-yeah, i wanted to--” he paused suddenly as you reached over and grabbed a stack of papers from in front of him.

“Got it. Can’t have these memos sitting here, they need to make it to the rest of the lab.” You turned on your heel to walk away, but you hesitated. He snapped to attention. Were you going to say something…? “You should get back to work, Doctor, it’s almost quitting time on a Friday. Isn’t Papyrus waiting for you?”

And with that, you stepped off at a brisk pace, tapping your little feet down the hallway as you rushed to get the Friday memo out.

He collapsed in the chair, putting his head in his hands. What had he done? Why won’t you talk to him? This was torture! Even if it was an accident, you were still his Marked, and it hurt to be ignored by you.

“Oh, Doctor, here you are. Shouldn’t you be heading out soon?”

He looked up with surprise to see Turner, all dressed up in a fresh-pressed button-up and slacks. A fresh white lily dangled from his hand.

“uh, yeah, just about to leave. just waiting to talk to Dr. Y/n before she goes.”

“Ah. I suspect you won’t see her here again. After she’s delivered the memos, she’ll probably retire to the locker room.”

Sans’ eyes flicked to the lily. Turner chuckled.

“Yes, a lily for the office lily herself. For our...date tonight.” The pause before the word date was intentional. He wanted to see his reaction. But Sans remained stoic on the outside.

He rose from the seat, one massive hand placed firmly on the table. As he straightened up and squared his shoulders, he could see fear flick through Turner’s eyes.

“...a date, huh? i sure hope you aren’t thinking of fraternizing,  _ doc _ .”

“Th-that policy only refers to partners.”

“i wouldn’t be worried about the policy. there’s plenty of other reasons you shouldn’t date her. she ain’t your type.” You know, not a complacent moron.

“Oh?” Turner looked past him for a second, smirking. “And why’s that?”

“c’mon, turner, don’t play dumb. you’re always sayin’ it. she’s got too much ambition, doesn’t know her place, and she’s better off sittin’ at this desk. Right? she ain’t worth a date.” 

He was smirking still, and his eyes flitted over Sans’ shoulder again. “Oh, y/n, I didn’t think you’d be ready so soon.”

What? Sans whirled around, knocking papers haphazardly off your desk. And there you were, in a red dress that matched the heat on your cheeks as you tried not to cry through your mascara. Your fist clenched at your side, and you didn’t meet his gaze.

“oh, uh, wow...how long you been standin’ there, darlin’?”

He reached out to brush your shoulder but you pushed past him to run out of the room. The jingle of the front door bell told him you took off outside.

“Hmm. I’d guess she was probably standing there a while. Who knew?” Anger surged through Sans’ fingertips, magic sparking. Turner knew. He’d baited him into saying something that would be taken the wrong way.

But as Turner swept out the door, and Sans was left alone, it wasn’t anger that wracked his body.

* * *

“she’s got too much ambition, doesn’t know her place, and she’s better off sittin’ at this desk. Right? she ain’t worth a date.” 

You stared blankly at the back of Sans’ skull, trying to process what you just walked in on. Had...those words really just come from him? Your fingers curled up into a fist, and the sting of tears threatened to spill over your makeup.

Sans was...the only partner that had ever come through who had never said those things. You thought he was...different. You thought he cared about you, respected you. You had thought…

“Oh, y/n, I didn’t think you’d be ready so soon.” 

Turner’s words made Sans whirl around quickly, a sense of panic in his eyes confirming the words you’d just heard. You didn’t look at him, but instead the floor.

“oh, uh, wow...how long you been standin’ there, darlin’?”

He tried to touch you, but you flinched away from him, running out of the room and through the front door. Where you were going, you didn’t know, but you needed to get away from him as the tears ran down your face.

How dare he! How could he say those things, when he looked at you so earnestly before? When he’d been on your side this whole time? When he’d looked you in the eye and told you he thought you were brilliant, that you’d be a great partner? And now that your back was turned, he tells Turner how he really feels.

You were so tired of this. So tired of getting no respect in this stupid lab that never lets you work. Tired of getting hopeful every time someone walks through that door to work with you. Tired of seeing them move on to bigger, greater things while you’re stuck at a desk re-reading the text on kinetic energy.

At some point your legs gave out, and you fell to the ground. You couldn’t move, you were so angry. You just sat there, hands on your knees as you shook with fury. Then sadness. Then more fury. And more sadness.

“Please, you look too nice to be on the ground out here.”

You looked up, surprised to see that Turner had followed you. He held out a hand, and you took it, letting him pull you to your feet. He tucked a white lily behind your ear.

“There, that’s better. Shall we?” He held out his arm, and you slipped your hand underneath to rest on his forearm. You watched him cautiously as you walked. “I’m sorry for the things that Doctor Sans said. I can tell they upset you. But, you know, sometimes it is best to distance yourself from people like that.”

Well, that’s what you had tried to do with him, and now you were going on a date, so…

He took you to a nice restaurant and you were seated at a table for two. The place was ridiculously fancy, everything was over the top, right down to the silk tablecoths and fancy china handwashing bowls. Too fancy for your taste. They didn’t serve burgers, either, and you could barely read the menu as it was in French, and so Turner ended up ordering for you. As they brought out the wine he ordered, he reached over and gently put his hand on top of yours.

“Y/n, I know you think I’m hard on you, but I really do think you’re brilliant.” He smiled at you, a weird look in his eye that you’d never seen. “In fact, I don’t necessarily think you don’t belong in the lab, and I don’t disagree with the board for selecting you.”

You snorted incredulously. Then what the fuck have you been doing these past two years? Not research!

“I’ll admit...my motivations were entirely selfish. If you were in the lab with me, and we were partners, I would never be able to be with you. And to be able to take you out on such a beautiful night, with you like a vision...I didn’t realize my motivations until I saw you at the Gala, so gorgeous. Though I must say you look better in red.”

You stared at him dumbly. What was he saying? He put you through all this because he wanted to smash? He humiliated and demeaned you every day for two years because he thought you were  _ cute _ ?

You withdrew your hand and grabbed your freshly poured wine. You had no idea what to say without risking your job, so you stayed silent.

“Y/n...I must confess that this date isn’t just for pleasure. I also have business to discuss with you.” You looked up at him suspiciously, wine glass still pressed to your lips. Business? He wanted to actually talk business with you? “As you know, I’m moving to another lab in a month, in the Colorado Rockies.” Yeah, still counting the days. “Well, it just so happens that they require a Kinetic Energy Specialist, and I may have mentioned that I already have one in mind...one that looks stunning in red.”

He slid a paper over to you, and you took it from him, still searching his face for any sign of a lie. When you read through it, you almost dropped your wine glass.

“Holy shit, that’s a lot of zeroes on that salary!” You squeaked, pulling the paper closer to your face. You should have brought your reading glasses. “And they get to manage their own team of researchers? Jeez, who do I gotta suck for this job?”

An amused chuckle reminded you that you were being incredibly inappropriate for such a nice setting. You turned red and clutched the paper to you, hiding behind it a little.

“You don’t have to perform any favors, y/n. That’s an offer letter. You got the job already.”

Oh. Oh!

Ooohhh…

“Oh, Doctor, I really don’t know. I mean, Colorado? And leaving Sans behind in the lab--”

He put his hand up to stop you. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, my dear. You have a month to decide, and if you say yes, you can come with me to Colorado and be the scientist you’ve always wanted to be. If not, well...I’m not sure of Doctor Sans’ true feelings on the matter, so I can’t say for sure if anything would change.”

The waiter placed your food in front of you, a dish of what looked like chicken and pasta in a white sauce. You chose to eat instead of answering him.

Even though his words had shocked you, hurt you even, you couldn’t just abscond to Colorado and leave Sans behind like this.

...Could you?

* * *

You unlocked the door to the lab quietly, inputting your code to turn the alarm off. Your dinner had ended up running very late, and you were more than a bit tipsy. To your surprise, you had actually enjoyed Turner’s presence at dinner, once he stopped talking about work. He was definitely a charming man, and if you didn’t know him personally you might have fallen for his lines. But as it stood, you had thanked him politely and left without so much as a kiss on the cheek. You had been pretty proud of yourself, but then you had to wobble back to the lab on your own which was...well, you made it.

You sighed as you entered through the reception area, slipping the offer letter into a pile of papers that belonged to you. You...might consider it. Depending.

But right now you were too drunk to think that hard. You stumbled off towards the infirmary, slipping off your heels and carrying them in one hand rather than wobbling around. You found the infirmary and quickly made your way to the sleeping area.Your free hand came up to rub the side of your neck. The spot where you’d fallen and hurt yourself last time you drank. It felt funny, tingly. Maybe a side effect of the healing magic? You tried to remember what he’d said about that before…

“s’at spot botherin’ you?”

You shrieked and fell down on the infirmary bed, confused and frightened by the sudden voice but…

“Fuck! Sans, don’t scare me like that!”

“sorry, sorry...normally you sense me a lot sooner. are you drunk?” Sans fingers closed around one arm gently, helping you back up to a sitting position.

“I’ve had a few, but not too many. I think Turner was counting on me getting drunker but he didn’t even get a peck on the cheek.” Your hand went back to the spot on your neck. It felt so weird right now...wait! You almost forgot you were mad at Sans! “Wait, I’m mad at you, ya bonehead!”

You must be drunker than you thought, because your feeble attempt to push him only ends up with you on your back, staring at the ceiling. You could see him, even though it was kind of dark. His eyelights were trained on you.

“yeah, that’s why i’m here. i, uh, saw you left your purse, so i assumed you'd be back later and i waited.” He rubbed the back of his skull, looking nervous. “i didn’t want you to think i meant those things...i was just...trying to convince turner to back off ya.”

You were too drunk to look at him standing above you, and too drunk to really think about his apology. Whatever, you felt better anyway. Almost like your animosity was melting away. You surprised him by tugging him down to lay down next to you.

“Can’t focus when you’re spinning around the room above me.” You said, stretching your arms out above your head. He seemed to hesitate, but laid down nonetheless. He was wearing his hoodie, and it looked so soft. “Hey, what’s a pirate say when he turns 80 years old?”

He shifted next to you, making a surprised noise. “what?”

“Aye Matey!” You laughed at your own joke. He grinned in the dark, his chuckle rumbling against your shoulder. You hadn’t realized you’d started to gravitate toward him. You were mad at him, right?

“the other day, i lost an electron.”

“Don’t!”

“guess i should keep a better  _ ion  _ them.”

You howled with laughter, and he chuckled right along. You always felt so comfortable with Sans, how could you be mad at him? He couldn’t have meant those things he said, not the Sans that you knew. You groaned, rubbing the back of your neck again.

“hey...let me check that out, okay? make sure the magic isn’t hurtin’ you.”

He was relieved when you rolled over lazily gesturing a go-ahead. The mark was plain as day, to him at least, and it didn’t look like it was hurting you. He gingerly touched it, and you sighed at the contact, making him blush a little. He was surprised you could feel the mark, but then again you did have magic of your own, even though you weren’t aware of it.

It would be easy to remove the mark like this. A little shoulder rub, a little more magic...but...he wasn’t confident it would go away. In order for that to happen he would have to retract the feeling he had once poured into you, and, well...he still felt that way. His magic would be insincere, and that could be dangerous with his unstable power levels.

“Mmm...feels nice…” you mumbled, and he realized that he’d been massaging your shoulder gently. He hesitated, but you made a disapproving noise, so he moved a little closer so he could rub you better. Your skin was so soft, but your muscles were slightly tense. You must hold your worry in your neck.

“you gotta lotta knots in your neck here, princess.”

Suddenly you moved away from his fingers, sitting upright and scooting away from him. The tension was in the air now, vibrating off your body in waves.

“Don’t call me that, ever!” You were surprisingly loud. He had never heard you shout before. You didn’t like the name princess? Dually noted. He sat up with you, and his soul whined as you shirked his touch.

“woah, hey, calm down, i didn’t mean anything by it, honest.”

“Just don’t call me that, okay? Never call me that.” You seemed to be rising in anger, but you allowed him to touch your shoulder. He could feel the pain welling up inside of you, and you were trembling.

“okay, i won’t, i won’t, i’m sorry...are you okay?” He tried to resist the urge to use his emotion magic, but the panic on your face was too heart-wrenching. He relieved some of the pain you felt, and the features on your face relaxed. Oops, he may have overdone it, because you melted into him with a sigh, your soul humming sleepily as if drugged.

“Yeah. I’m just tired. I need to…” Your eyes wandered over to him, and he felt his sins crawling on his back under your heavy-lidded gaze.

“sleep?” He offered, trying to push you off.

“Mmmmm...not the word I would use.” You said with a giggle, straining against his hands to try to climb on him. Shit, shit, mayday, mayday! He had no problem restraining you, and it would be easy to push you off and blink away, but...what if Turner came in before this wore off?

He swore under his breath, pulling you to his chest. He didn’t really have a choice.

He blinked away with you in tow, back to his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans is in trouble when Undyne finds out he's been manipulating her emotions oh man


	6. It's Getting Hot In Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans deals with punch-drunk you.  
> At a food fair, you find somebody unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kind words <3  
> I hadn't updated in so long because I was stuck on ending that chapter, but posting it has really helped me to start up again! Enjoy this one!

It was probably a bad idea to bring you here. 

The first thing that happened was that Papyrus caught him with you.

“BROTHER! WHY ARE YOU HOME SO LATE? I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He eyed the scene before him with an incredulous look as Sans swatted your hands away with panic on his face.

“uh, uhm, i gotta little situation an’ i couldn’t just leave her there and...stop it!” He grabbed your hands, gently holding you at bay as he looked at his brother pleadingly. “please help me.”

A strong hand picked you up by the back of your shirt, holding you at arm’s length as Sans skittered away.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER? IS SHE DRUNK?” Papyrus regarded your amorous face. The blue tint in your eyes made him frown. “SANS, WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE SHE’S UNDER MAGIC INFLUENCE?”

Sans peeked out from behind the arm chair. “i, uh, was tryin’ to help her calm down, j-just a little! she was super freaked and i...just…” He was sweating under his brother’s gaze.

“SANS! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH PEOPLE’S EMOTIONS!” Papyrus sighed, putting a gloved hand over his face. “JUST ONE TIME SHOULD NOT BE SO BAD, SO I WILL…” He caught Sans’ guilty look, and a frustrated sigh escaped him. “YOU’VE DONE THIS MORE THAN ONCE?!”

“j-just a few times, i was only tryin’ to help...because…” He had no excuse. He’d done it for himself, honestly. He squeaked as Papyrus set you down, and you zipped over to him immediately, clinging to his shirt. “h-hey! what’re you doin’, bro?!”

“YOU WILL LIE IN THE BED YOU MADE. YOU HAD BETTER NOT TOUCH HER!” He turned to go, and stopped himself, glancing back. “AND YOU WILL TELL HER OF YOUR ERROR IN THE MORNING, NO EXCUSES!”

And with that, his only hope was gone, leaving him to get molested by you as you tried to remove his sweatshirt. He was pretty sure he was crying as he collapsed comically on the floor.

“well...what now?” he whined quietly to himself, giving in to your pulling as you slid his sweatshirt off his shoulders. When your hands returned to him, he jumped, and used his magic to deposit you on the couch.

“Saaaannnnssss…” You pouted, and he had to look away. Stars, you were so enticing...no! Focus! He can’t give in!

He made a mistake.

He gave you a nicecream.

He’d only been trying to give you something to do with your hands, but he had completely underestimated the phallic quality of the item, and now he had to sit there and watch you eat it with that look on your face.

It. Was. Torture.

You didn’t look at him, thankfully, because he couldn’t have handled that. But you did lick it. Very. Slowly. And make noises that he was pretty sure were going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Why did he have to pick something the same color as his magic? He couldn’t help but imagine you...ugh...he plucked a pillow from the couch and put it in his lap. He didn’t need his magic getting him onto any  _ more _ trouble today.

Unfortunately for him, you noticed the movement, and you knew exactly what it meant. You let out a little moan, making him snap his attention back to you, at which point you stared him right in the eyes as you sucked on the popsicle, making tiny popping noises when you drew away. Oh, stars, he must be bluer than the sky right now.

He totally deserved this, he knew, but it was torture nonetheless.

He chanced another glance at you when you were done, but now you had drops of nicecream dribbling down your face. As you wiped at it somewhat bashfully, you looked downright lewd.

_ calm down, sans, it’s just nicecream. _ He tried to tell himself that, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Gah! Why must he torture himself!

Oh thank the stars, you were starting to look tired. You wiped the nicecream off your face and yawned, your eyes drooping. You immediately plunked your head down on the pillow in his lap, sending a shiver down his spine as you adjusted yourself.

And then the snoring came and he relaxed all over. He told himself then and there that this was the last time he tried to manipulate your emotions.

* * *

You woke with a start to find yourself lying on an unfamiliar couch in an unfamiliar house. You sat straight up, adrenaline suddenly coursing through you as your eyes darted around. Hadn’t you made it to the lab?! Wh...where were you?

“GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE AWAKE, DOCTOR!”

Oh geez. Your whole body relaxed at the Papyrus’ appearance. Thank the stars, you’re only at Sans’ house. You tried to be upset about it, you really did, but you didn’t really have the energy. Whatever animosity you had had last night was gone now, too. For some reason his words to Turner didn’t bother you anymore...well, actually, you vaguely remember a very sincere apology.

“How did I get here?” You asked, turning to the tall skeleton with a quizzical look. You realized that you were wearing Sans’ sweater. He must have thought you looked cold...You noticed Sans in the kitchen and caught his eye. He turned bright blue and ducked back behind the doorframe. Weird.

“SANS BROUGHT YOU HERE, SAID HE DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU AT THE LAB IN YOUR STATE.” Papyrus sounded a little bitter, but he masked it with a huge smile. He held out a plate of somewhat burnt scrambled eggs. “BREAKFAST?”

You shook your head. Oof. Mistake. “No, I don’t feel well. Must’ve had too much to drink last night or something.”

“YES. OR SOMETHING.” Papyrus’ eyes flicked to his brother, who was peeking from behind the door frame. He disappeared again.

Oh! He must think you’re still mad at him!

“I’ve gotta talk to Sans about something. It’s really nice to see you again, Papyrus.” He flushed a light orange as you smiled and patted his shoulder, sweeping past him into the kitchen.

Which was...empty.

The huge kitchen seemed void of any inhabitants, even though you’d literally just seen him here. You knew he could teleport, but usually when he did that it left a staticy feeling that made your hair stand up. It didn’t this time.

Aha! A pantry door, just slightly open.

“Sans, come out of there.”

“there’s, uh, nobody by that name in here. just cornflakes and canned beans. guess you’ve  _ bean _ duped.”

You giggled, and pushed the door open. He grinned at you from among the shelved goods, a loaf of bread sitting atop his head. He looked different without his sweatshirt, but in a good way. His white t-shirt hung off him just slightly, giving the illusion of a body underneath.

“Aren’t you  _ bread _ y to talk?” You said, crossing your arms.

“i’m sorry, i’m just feelin’ a little  _ corny _ .” He said, pulling a can of corn off the shelf to display like Vanna White. There was a glint in his eye as he removed the bread from his head and placed the items back on the shelves. You backed up a few steps so he could exit the pantry, closing it behind him. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, seeming to rethink his words.

“I’m really glad you showed up last night,” you said, before he could speak. “I...I knew I shouldn’t believe those things you said but it...it still hurt me. So thanks. For sticking around to apologize.”

“aw jeez…” He flushed a light blue as he rubbed the back of his neck. “it...it was nothin’. i screwed up an’ i wanted to fix it, is all.”

Despite the blazé response, you could see the relief in his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile. How could you have considered leaving this guy behind for some paycheck where you still had to deal with Turner?

You punched him playfully in the arm.

“Hey, it’s Saturday. Let’s do something!”

* * *

“Something” turned out to be a lunch date with you, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys. You felt a little too dressy, since you hadn't had a chance to change from your datewear since you’d gotten so stinkin’ drunk last night, but once you’d scrubbed off your makeup and let down your hair, it looked alright. Well, you didn’t look like a drowned raccoon, at least.

Undyne met you with the same fierce energy as the night of the ball, and Alphys with a shy smile and a wave. It took forever for everyone to decide where to go, and nobody could agree, but lucky for you guys there was a huge food fair going on. Different food trucks lined the streets of downtown, and people milled about, more people than you’d ever seen in your life. Monsters, too. After much discussion, you all ended up splitting up to get food.

You end up with Papyrus, searching for a place that sells pasta, or maybe pizza. You appreciate his tall stature, because even when you lose him you can see his head above the crowds, and it makes you feel safe.

“DID YOU AND MY BROTHER TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT?” He inquired, stepping easily through the crowd as people created a large berth for him. Even right behind him, it was a struggle to keep up.

“Oh, uhm, yeah! I told him that I remembered his apology from last night and I feel better now. He seemed relieved.”

He stopped momentarily, and you bumped into him with a squeak. “THAT IS...ALL YOU SPOKE OF?”

“Uhm, yeah, there wasn’t anything else to discuss really.”

From the disgruntled noise that escaped him, you expected that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. But he was smiling when he turned to look at you.

“I THINK I SEE A PASTA PLACE UP AHEAD! I SHALL CLEAR A PATH!”

And with that, he was off, parting the crowd like the red sea. Unfortunately for you, the crowd was so thick that it closed again right behind him, and you weren’t able to keep up. Dammit!

You looked around, searching for the tall skeleton nervously. You really don’t like big crowds…

There! You saw a white skull and a red scarf towering above the crowd, and you moved as swiftly as possible towards him.

“Papyrus!” You called as you came closer. You reached out and grabbed his forearm, leaning down to catch your breath. “Papyrus, you can’t leave me like that, I’ve got tiny legs that can’t keep up with…”

Hmm. Those boots weren’t always that pointy. And you don’t remember him wearing a black shirt, but rather a white one. You heard a sound like a throat clearing and you brought your gaze up slowly.

A tall skeleton in a red scarf it was.

Papyrus...it was not.

The angry skull glared down at you, ripping his forearm from your grasp. You couldn’t take your eyes off the jagged scars across his left eye. You flinched as he spoke harshly to you.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Da-NAAAAA  
> WHO COULD THAT BE


	7. Theory of Infinite Universes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet...strange people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG you guys all got sooooo excited!  
> It really motivated me to do this chapter, so here you are!  
> Very excited for the implications of multiple AUs in this story.

You backed away...one step...two steps...one more step and you’d be out of his reach and you could run aw--omigoshyoujustbackedintosomebody!

“i’d say you should answer him, dollface.” The voice was a low grumble, coming from the sturdy somebody you’d just backed into. Hands clamped down on your arms, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Sans! Where is Sans! “i think you need to repeat the question, boss.”

“S-Sans!” You cried out suddenly, desperately hoping he’d hear you. Oh, stars, please, _please_ be nearby! The hands around your upper arms gripped you tighter, making you squeak and fall silent. You felt like you were jumping and suddenly all three of you were alone, in a dark alley. You could hear the crowd very faintly in the distance, if you strained. Where...how?

“oh, she knows my name, too. how very...unlikely.” You were twisted around until you were face to face with a shorter skeleton, a huge, unsettling grin on his face, looking a bit like a hungry shark with his sharp, pointy teeth. A gold incisor glistened threateningly, and his eyelights were a deep crimson. Other than those noticeable differences, he did indeed look quite a bit like Sans, only...emo-er? He even wore a spiked collar, making you vaguely wonder if there was ever a leash attached. His jacket was black instead of blue, but he wore the same shorts. One of his hands released your arm, snaking up to grab your chin. 

“so how do you know those names, sweetheart? ya don’t look familiar…” His eyelights traveled over your body, examining your short red dress. “...and i think i’d remember a tasty item like you, especially with legs like those.”

Your hands flew to your skirt, pulling on it nervously. If you backed up, you’d just end up backing into the taller one, and that wouldn’t help you any. You weren’t built for this kind of stress!

“WELL, WELL, WELL,” you shrieked as bony hands pushed aside your hair. The taller one twirled your locks around his fingers until he was yanking your head to the side painfully. His free hand brushed over the spot where Sans had healed you before, sharp phalanges leaving the skin raw. You shrieked, but the squat one silenced you with his unsettling grin. “WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? LOOK, SANS, NOW DOESN’T THAT LOOK FAMILIAR?”

Asshole Sans craned his neck to look, and then he tsked, releasing you. “ain’t that just the shits. i thought she looked pretty easy on the eyes, too. so that’s how you know those names, huh?”

You didn’t answer, words stuck in your throat as the angry-looking Papyrus held fast to a chunk of your hair, forcing you to look at who you assumed must be his brother.

“HUMAN, IT IS NOT  _ POLITE _ TO IGNORE PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING TO YOU,” The smirk in his voice was unmistakable, and he pulled upwards on your hair sharply, making you squeak. “YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF IN A LESS THAN SAVORY POSITION.”

You mean like right now? You stared agape at the shorter one, wondering how someone who looked so much like Sans, and even had the same name, could be such a huge fucking dick. And you don’t even want to start with the nasty Papyrus clutching your hair.

“but it ain’t set in stone, is it? you could still come mess around with me, eh?” His crimson eyelights flashed with an evil gleam as he moved closer. “how ‘bout it, princess? wanna spend a steamy night wi--”

He was cut off by your hand making contact with his cheekbone, catching him off guard and making him fall back a bit. His eyes were still dizzy when the other one yanked you back with a snarl.

“INSOLENT HUMAN! DO YOU THINK I WILL ALLOW YOU TO ASSAULT MY UNDERLING SO FREELY?” His bony hand was suddenly on your neck, and your heart banged against your ribs. You fought against your brain not to panic. Please, please, _please_ …

“ **don’t you fucking move a muscle, edge**.”  Your heart leapt. You know that voice! Sans had the asshole Sans by the hood, and though he could probably break free, the edgier skeleton stayed perfectly still in his grasp.

The angry Papyrus (or was he called Edge now?) scoffed, and suddenly he pushed you away. Sans dropped his dark double like he bit him, and you found yourself in his arms. You clutched him tightly, allowing the panic you’d bit back before to wash over you. What--how--who?! What is happening?!

Keeping a firm grip on you with one arm, Sans squared his other shoulder, staring directly at...Edge, was it? His (assumed) brother had found his way to his side, a red flush on his face as he rubbed where you slapped him.  _ His  _ eyes were focused on you, but you couldn’t place the look he was giving you.

“i don’t wanna fight family, but you guys know the rules,” Sans said through gritted teeth. “you can’t just go around attacking people. i _could_ put you back in the void where i found ya after your universe went topside. **would ya like that?** ”

His accent got thicker as he spoke, and it came out in a growl, as if he found it hard to control his tone. You clutched him a little closer, worried he was going to get in a fight. It seemed to remind him you were there, and he turned his eyelights on you, looking a little guilty.

You felt gentle hands on your shoulders. “I SHALL TAKE HER TO SAFETY, BROTHER.”

“thanks, paps.” You reluctantly allowed Papyrus (the real one, thank the stars) to peel you from Sans’ side.

Sans watched as his brother led you quickly away, your worried glances cast quickly over your shoulder. He could still feel the sensation of you trembling against him...oh, wait, that was the _rage shaking his bones_.

“we wasn’t gonna hurt her, just play a little. we didn’t even know she was yours until just before you showed up.” Red drawled, giving him a stony glare. Sans glared right back at him, prompting him to look away, annoyed. “fine. she smelled funny anyway.”

“I HAVE TO SAY, EVEN FOR YOU, THIS IS UNEXPECTED.” Edge said, crossing his arms. “MATING WITH A HUMAN? WE ALL KNOW THAT NEVER ENDS WELL. EVEN IF YOUR DATEMATE CAN--”

“we ain’t together.”

Both Edge and Red gave him matching faces that screamed “bullshit”.

“i’m serious. she’s my coworker.” Unfortunately. “i marked her...on accident. she doesn’t know.”

There was a moment of silence before Red snorted, then doubled over with chuckles. Edge’s gloved hand flew to cover his own laugh.

“ha! hahaha! oh my stars, you can’t be serious!” Red wiped a red tear from his eye. “oh, man, you fucked up so much, ahaha _ haaaa _ !”

“NYEH HEH, DEAR STARS, YOU REALLY HAVE. THAT POOR, STUPID HUMAN DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO HER.”

Sans groaned, crossing his arms. He really didn’t need this today, and he definitely didn’t need these guys in  _ your _ life. “just leave her alone, and we won’t have a problem.”

Red stopped laughing and straightened himself. “oh, we got a problem, sansy. problem is, you just told us that girl ain’t yours, and, well, i happen to like how she looks in red.”

“PLEASE, SANS, YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS.” Edge said, turning his incredulous gaze on his brother. “SHE’S A FILTHY HUMAN, FOR STARS’ SAKE.”

“oh, i’m serious boss. didja see that left hook she gave me?” He made a suggestive growling noise, and Sans could feel the anger rising in his bones. “now if you’ll both excuse me, i got a pair of legs that are just **beggin’** to be my earmuffs.” 

He grinned wide as he blinked away, and Sans swore, glancing at Edge, torn between not wanting to leave him and chasing after Red.

“OH, PLEASE. LIKE I’M GOING TO CAUSE TROUBLE.” Edge scoffed, catching his gaze.

And with that, Sans was gone.

* * *

By the time Papyrus had sat you on a park bench and brought you some ice for your neck, your panic had subsided, replaced with a million burning questions. Even though his hands were gentle, and you knew it wasn’t the other one, you still flinched when Papyrus moved too fast or when he reached for you. He saw your hesitance, and he began to move slower, helping you relax.

“I AM SINCERELY SORRY, DOCTOR Y/N, FOR MY COUSINS’ BEHAVIOR. THEY...TAKE SOME GETTING USED TO, BUT THEY AREN’T ALL BAD ONCE YOU KNOW THEM.” He said, kindness shining in his eyes as he helped press the ice against the small bruise forming on your neck. You just stared at him dumbly. Take some getting used to? You don’t think you could ever get used to that. That’s some next level shit right there.

“I am gonna POUND THEIR ASSES WHEN I SEE THEM!” Undyne shrieked, a fire raging in her eye as she scanned the crowds for the edgy brothers.

“C-calm down, s-sweetie, we d-don’t need a monster fight in this h-huge crowd.” Alphys said, tugging nervously on her girlfriend’s tank top. Undyne was ignoring her, practically vibrating with adrenaline.

“AUGH! I can’t wait! I’m gonna go look for those losers!” And with that, Undyne took off, Alphys trailing behind, stuttering in a panicked voice. Papyrus turned back to you, a look of worry on his face as you breathed a deep sigh.

“ARE YOU GOING TO BE ALRIGHT, DOCTOR?”

“Just call me y/n, Papyrus. We’re friends, right?” You smiled wryly at him, and his face lit up.

“Y-YES, OF COURSE, D--I MEAN, Y/N.” You were lucky to have friends like him.

“y/n, huh? well, ain’t that a swell name.” The hair on the back of your neck stood up at the gravelly voice coming from behind you. “i’ll remember it.”

You flew into Papyrus’ arms immediately, panicked face turning to look at the sharp-toothed skeleton who was leaning against the back of the bench. He was grinning wide, but it didn’t look like he wanted to kill you...this time.

“hey, woah, calm down, dollface. i’m here to make nice.” He held his hands up innocently, taking a step back. “didn’t mean to scare ya earlier, i didn’t know you was monster-friendly, ya know? most people that grab us randomly on the street wanna start some shit.”

He...had a point. It can’t be easy with all the monster racism hanging around. You relaxed, and Papyrus released you save for one protective hand on your shoulder. You straightened up as he extended a skeletal hand to you. You hesitantly shook it, and save for the firm grip it was harmless. He let his hand linger in yours for a moment before he retracted it to rest in his sweater pocket.

“So...your name is Sans, too?” You asked, unsure of how this all worked.

“you can just call me red, makes it easier. n’my brother, he’s called edge.” Wow. He was so...civil.

“O-oh...okay…” The awkward hesitation in your voice seemed to betray your discomfort. He attempted to lighten the mood.

“hey, y’know, you’re a scientist, right? well, i got this new theory on inertia…” he tried to hold back a laugh. “...but it doesn’t seem to be gaining any  _ momentum _ .”

You were surprised by your own laugh, as was he. For a second you saw a look of awe cross his face before the grin was back. Papyrus groaned behind you. “I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT ONE BUT I KNOW IT WAS A PUN!”

You were still laughing, adding Papyrus’ misery to your list of reasons to laugh right now. A deep chuckle came from the dark skeleton, and for a moment you forgot that he’d attacked you.

“that was a smart joke, you must really be a scientist. n’if you’re workin’ with sansy, i bet you're a pretty damn good one.” He leaned forward on the back of the bench again. “here, catch.”

He tossed you something, and you fumbled, but caught it. Oh, a phone. You looked at him, perplexed. He mimicked texting. Oh, he wanted your number...well, you supposed it couldn’t hurt. After all, he  _ did _ apologize, and he  _ was  _ Sans’ cousin, and he really seemed to be alright. Like Papyrus said, he would just take some getting used to.

You typed in your number and tossed it back. As he pocketed it, Sans materialized right next to him, a grave look of anger darkening his usually grinning face.

“n’that’s my cue. see ya later, dollface!” He flashed you some finger guns and a wink as he disappeared, barely dodging Sans’ hands as he tried to grab him.

Sans let out a frustrated growl, then took a moment with his back turned to you, composing himself. When he turned around, he looked exhausted. “are you ok?”

You nodded, smiling at him. “Yeah, your cousin apologized to me. He really isn’t so bad, I guess.”

Sans rubbed his skull, seeming to wonder if he should say something. He appeared to decide against it, because he just gave you a weary grin.

“i guess. just don’t relax too much around him, alright?”

“Okay,” you said, and his usual grin returned, though the tension remained in his shoulders.

“let’s, uh, go actually enjoy the food fair. yeah?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's Mr. Steal-yo-girl!  
> LOL.  
> I'm very excited to bring Red and Edge into this, I think it'll be very...interesting.


	8. Hello, Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red saves you in a situation he caused.  
> You play nurse, unawares that Sans is listening in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist a nurse/red chapter, again!

_ “You’re the only one that understands me, I wish we could just run away and never look back! Won’t you do it, James? Won’t you take me away?” _

_ “Maybe one day, princess.” _

* * *

You sighed, removing your reading glasses and rubbing your eyes. Three hours of reorganizing and rewriting schedules to accommodate one of Turner’s other assistants who had “forgotten” to mention they were taking a week-long vacation.

It was finally done, though, and you were ready to go grab lunch in the break room, maybe catch up with Sans. Before you could move, a pair of skeletal hands covered your eyes. Speak of the devil.

“guess who?” Sans said, chuckling mirthfully.

“Oh, you know, I dunno, I only know so many skeletons in this building...hmmm...Papyrus?” You were grinning like an idiot. You loved the silly things he did, they always brightened your mood.

“nope. guess again.”

Behind his hands, you rolled your eyes. “Well, then it must be Sans.”

“ding-ding! you’ve won lunch on me!” You felt a weird jumping feeling and felt yourself sitting in a very different chair. When he removed his hands you could see you were sitting in a monster restaurant, at the bar. You were about to ask why, but you were distracted by the bartender immediately. He was literally covered in fire. No, not covered, he was  _ made _ of fire. He somehow managed to have glasses on his face, though it was devoid of features unless he opened his mouth to talk, as he did now to Sans.

“Hello, Sans, you’re early today.” His voice was husky, and his fire crackled while he spoke. You instinctively leaned back to avoid sparks, but found there were none.

“s’just my lunch break, grillby. i wanted to bring my friend by.”

The fire man (Grillby, you assumed. You’d heard Sans talk about this place before, and the man’s name only confirmed the suspicion) turned to you, and something resembling a smile crackled across his face.

“Ah, so this is the one you talk about all the time. Nonstop, really, he is quite the motor mouth when it comes to y--”

“ok, ok, hey, i think i hear dogaressa’s french fries burnin’ back there,” Sans said waving the man away as a cerulean blush washed across his face.

“Sans, I didn’t even clock out,” you said, smacking his arm in mock-annoyance. Grillby returned to place a bottle of ketchup in front of Sans, and you stared at him as he popped the top off to drink it straight.

“s’okay, i did it for ya. you like burgers, right?”

Did you like burgers? Was that even a question? Your excitement read easily on your face and he chuckled, holding up two fingers to Grillby, who swiftly moved to the kitchen.

You looked around, happy to take in the surrounding noise of monsters enjoying life aboveground. Your phone chirped as Sans turned to talk to an eager dog monster.

 

**AssholeSans:** hey pretty lady, you free on your lunch today? wanna spend some time with me?

 

Red. He hadn’t exactly talked to you since he sent a confirmation text with his and his brother’s numbers (though you didn’t feel the desire to text the other one) and one picture text you were, quite frankly, afraid to open. You were feeling a little cheeky, as he was still a stranger.

 

**You:** Ten minutes too late, Sans took me to Grillby’s already. Bummer, bruh.

**AssholeSans:** i know he did. turn around.

 

Huh? You obediently turned on your stool to see him flashing a slight wave and a huge grin from a corner table. What? What was he doing here? Whatever! You turned back around just as Grillby set down a plate of the most delicious smelling burger you had ever smelled. Sans reached over and plucked a fry off your plate and popped it into his mouth before you could catch him, chuckling as you swatted at him.

Your phone pinged again.

 

**AssholeSans:** ditch the nerd and come over here already

 

You rolled your eyes, pocketing the phone and returning your attention to Sans.

“whozat?” He asked, nodding towards the phone you just put away.

“Your cousin. He’s texting me from that corner booth over there.” While he turned to look, you snagged a fry from his plate. “Ha! Now we’re even.”

He was frowning at his cousin, so he didn’t even notice. When he turned back to you, he put a reassuring hand on your shoulder, as if silently encouraging you to ignore Red’s presence. Fine with you.

Your phone buzzed one last time.

 

**AssholeSans:** fine, but I get dinner tonight. no escaping that, dollface.

* * *

He wasn’t kidding.

He showed up at your desk at 6:00 sharp, after Sans and Turner had already left for the evening. You’d been just about to get going yourself after you finished next week’s schedule, hoping to pack up the rest of your room and possibly sign on to a place.

“heya, dollface, how you doin’?” He said, leaning over your desk. You shrieked in surprise, having been engrossed in the schedule once again.

“Sans, I don’t have time for your…” You looked up at him in shock. Crap, that’s not Sans. At least, not the one you wanted it to be. He grinned down at you, sharp-toothed and strange. He really did sound like Sans, in your defense. “Red. What are you doing here?”

“we had a dinner date, ‘member?” He produced a red flower, seemingly from nowhere, and passed it to you. “toldja ya weren’t gettin’ out of it.”

You took the flower gently, unable to take your eyes off him for fear that he might stop being nice and turn back into the creepy alley guy you met. But his face was soft right now, his grin relaxed. He really did look an awful lot like Sans.

“Sorry, I can’t. I have to look at apartments today.”

“what a coincidence, me too! turns out my temporary assignment nearby is turnin’ permanent. right now m’stayin’ with some relatives nearby, but i don’t think that’s gonna last much longer.”

More relatives? How many were there?

“anyway, not much of a dinner date, but it’s somethin’. shall we?”

Well...it was safer to walk around with somebody else, that’s for sure...especially in the neighborhoods you were looking at. And he really didn’t seem that bad.

You sighed. You were going to regret this.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

* * *

Red was actually...surprisingly good company. He told a lot of jokes, a little on the darker side, but still funny. His scary demeanor terrified the realtors into straight honesty, meaning you actually managed to find a nice place within your price range that didn’t seem like you might die if you don’t bolt the doors at night. 

He made several comments about moving there, too, as you promised to come back to sign the papers. You secretly hoped he would, if only to have neighbors you actually knew. The landlady stared at Red the entire time you asked about the place, giving short, curt answers. You hoped it was just fear, and not that she was racist. You can imagine all the trouble you’d have when all these monster friends came to visit.

“well that was boring.” He said bluntly as he strolled out of the office beside you, hands in his pockets.

“You wanted to come,” you said, rolling your eyes as you tucked the received paperwork into your purse. The complex was small, and you had already made it to the streets. It was pretty dark by now, and you drew your jacket closer to your body against the chill. This neighborhood was pretty seedy, so maybe some of the chill was from you.

“yeah, yeah, mostly ‘cause of you, though. woah, hold up.” He stopped suddenly, throwing an arm out in front of you and making you stagger back.

“Red, what the--”

“get behind me and don’t make a sound.” He growled, pulling on your wrist and stepping in front of you. You barely had time to register the figures moving towards you before his body blocked the view. “what’s shakin’, my friends? didn’t think i’d see ya out tonight.”

Friends? He knows these guys?

“How could we not be out? After what you did to Vinny last night, you think we’d let you get away?”

“What’d you do to Vinny?” You hissed quietly, morbid curiosity getting the better of you.

“i said shut up,” he hissed back. “guys, i’d love ta fight, really, but i got places to be. rain check? dinner on friday? promise i’ll buy ya flowers.”

Behind his back, he squeezed your wrist. Shit. He couldn’t fight because you were there. You felt really bad, certain that this terrifying monster you’d befriended would have no problem handling these jerks if he wasn’t worried about you. He really was a good guy after all.

Oh. Ow. That hurt. What...what hurt? Pain in the back of your neck? It was dark, and you slipped out of Red’s grasp.

Lots of shouting. Was he fighting them? Someone’s hands were on you, but they didn’t feel right, too pudgy and sweaty to be his or Sans’. Flashes of red light danced in the darkness, and the hands were ripped from your body with a horrible scream.

Scream.

S c r e a m.

_ S _

_   C _

_     R _

_       E _

_         A _

_           M _

**_S c r e a m i n g . . . . ._ **

_ Screaming, screaming, that’s all you remember. And a flash of purple light before you realized they weren’t moving….weren’t moving anymore. No pain anymore...no more.  _

_ Here you stood, your prom dress ruined and bloody. You were only 17, it shouldn’t have been this way. You ignored the other two--you felt no pain, no pain anymore--and reached a shaky hand out to caress his auburn locks. How could they...but they weren’t...you choked back a sob as you pulled James’ lifeless body into your lap. He wasn’t breathing. His eyes were staring through you. _

_ James...you begged him not to leave you...he was supposed to take you away...don’t leave you with...with… _

_ You glance down at the dried blood between your legs and all over your dress. _

_ James...James...how could you...James… _

_... _

_ James... _

_... _

“James!” You gasped, sitting up so fast that you nearly collided with Red.

“cripes, girlie, calm yourself! i ain’t james, i’m red!”

His strong hands held your shoulders fast, easing you back down across his lap. Your eyes focused and you could see him leaning against the wall of a building, streetlamps illuminating the sad state he was in. His breath was ragged, and his grin was strained as he stared down at you.

“they got behind me, hit ya in the head. sorry.” He seemed genuinely upset that he’d failed to protect you, but he’d clearly won the...fight.

You tried to turn your head to see if the other guys had fled, but he quickly stopped you with his hand, making you look back at his crimson eyelights.

“don’t wanna look.....trust me.”

Oh. You hoped they were just bloody messes still breathing, but they were probably dead. For some reason, it didn't bother you. He wasn’t in great shape, himself, one hand holding what was no doubt a broken rib, cuts and bruises (if that’s what they were, you weren’t sure how skeletons work) peppering his skull and exposed bones through his ripped shirt.

You sat up again, the pain in the back of your head gone, replaced with a tingly feeling similar to…

“Did you heal me?” You asked, touching the back of your head gingerly.

“heh. guilty.”

“But you need it so much more, you should have--”

“can’t heal myself, don’t work that way.” He said, grimacing as his chuckle caused pain somewhere. “so might as well do you, ‘cause at least then we can get somewhere safe.”

“O-oh of course!” You stood quickly, gingerly helping him up off the ground so he could lean against you. He grunted as you shouldered his weight, but he wasn’t that heavy. He WAS just bones, after all.  _ Don’t look behind you, don’t look… _ “Let’s go get you patched up?”

“whatever you say, doc.”

* * *

Sans woke from his after-work nap in a blind panic. Something was wrong, so wrong, oh so so so so  _ wrong _ .

His eyelights darted left and right for a few tense minutes, before he finally realized he was only in his living room, still wearing his work clothes. He sighed in relief, but...he still felt uneasy, and when he tried to pinpoint why, an image of you crossed his mind…

He was at the lab in seconds, hoping to the stars that you were only sleeping peacefully, and that moment of panic wasn’t a premonition, or worse, indicative of something he’d already missed and failed to protect you from.

He was about to creak open the infirmary door to check, but he stopped when he heard your voice. Who were you talking to? Had Turner come back for some reason? But why so late?

“These are really nasty...are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” You asked softly. He frowned. Hospital?

“nah, it’s good. i got a great nurse right here, don’t i, dollface?”

It was as if time stopped, and he saw black for a minute. Red...Red was in there with you. In a room. With a bed.  _ Alone _ .

“Still...I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me. I’m sure it would have been easy to just take care of yourself, but you stuck around to take care of me, too.”

Okay, he had to be imagining that. There’s no way you were talking about sex, that was too unbelievable. You just met him, there’s no way you had slept with Red...well, you had just met Sans, too, when you slept together...drunk as you both were, that was fact.

“ _ hello _ , nurse. that sounded suggestive.” 

Sans sighed. He was worrying about nothing. That reaction told him he was being stupid. Still...he leaned against the door to hear better, you know...in case he needed to...save you….nah, he was being nosy. 

No sense in denying it.

* * *

“ _ hello _ , nurse. that sounded suggestive.”

“Har de har, you know what I meant.”

Red grinned at you, elbow propped up on the desk with his head in his hand. You were busy bandaging the nasty cut on his arm, and after you realized it was  _ marrow _ coming out of it, you were very interested in it being done.

“s’what’s a smart girl like you doin’ at a receptionist desk anyway? you seem a little overqualified to be doing secretary work.”

That was basically the same question Sans had asked the first time. How similar were these two Sanses?  “Dr. Turner is a misogynist and an asshole, who purposefully kept me off the team so he could date me.”

“i can see why.” He said, not missing a beat. “but he’s still a prick. you can be cute and smart at the same time.”

“Yes, but then there’s that pesky anti-fraternization policy! Can’t be involved with partners, no way, no how, no exceptions.”

“...none, huh?”

You shook your head.

“so...even my nerd cousin? you can’t ever be with him?”

“Not as long as we’re partners, no.” You didn’t really want to have this conversation. You tapped his shoulder. “Let’s see that rib, bone boy.”

His hold on his rib with his free arm tightened slightly, and he leaned back. His grin stayed fixed.

“eh, wanna get me out of my clothes that bad, huh?” He chuckled nervously. He slowly began to pull his shirt off. “guess one skeleton ain’t enough for ya, gotta have ‘em all.”

“I’ve never done anything like that with Sans, don’t be crude.” He paused halfway through lifting his shirt up, giving you a disbelieving stare. “I’m serious.”

He surprises you with another low chuckle, then swoops his shirt off quickly. You can’t help the sharp intake of breath that escapes you as you survey his naked ribs. His bones are thicker than a regular human’s, and fused in places to create a more natural body state. As you thought, one of his right side ribs has a nasty crack. There’s also...something glowing behind his sternum. You’re absolutely fascinated, from a scientific standpoint this is probably the coolest thing you’ve seen for a while.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he says with a snicker. You stutter and pull away, face turning a nice shade of crimson. He likes that color on you, and you’re easily embarrassed. He’ll have to explore that. 

“S-sorry! I was just--!”

“hey hey, jus’ jokin’, sweetheart. look all ya want. even...touch, maybe?” He didn’t think you could get any redder than that! He chortled as he snatched your hand, drawing it to his sternum. Man, he could just eat you right now. No wonder Sans marked you, you were absolutely addicting.

“W-woah, it’s smoother than I expected…” You said, embarrassment replaced by scientific inquisitiveness. You ran your hand up his sternum, and he straightened a little as your touch tingled on his bones.

“y-yeah, well, it’s magic.” He brought one of his bandaged arms up to try to scrub away the blush forming on his cheekbones, but thankfully you didn’t notice. You poked at his collarbone, then his uninjured ribs. He let out a small whine as you touched him (man, did that feel good), but snapped his attention elsewhere and tried to look cool when you looked up at him, confused. He caught you staring at the light in his chest, and before he could stop you, you’d swirled your fingers down his collarbone and brushed against his soul. He shuddered and moaned before he caught himself, holding your hand in place to stop you from doing any damage. “th-that’s my soul, eh, sorry.”

_ stars! how do i get her to do that again...? _

“Well, uhm, business, I suppose…” You said sheepishly, withdrawing your hand to focus on the broken rib. You were certain you just heard him whine, or maybe moan. Perhaps you shouldn’t be touching all over his exposed bones without knowing anything about skeleton sex. He twitched a little as you splinted and wrapped the rib as quickly as you could. He still gasped a little at the contact, and shivered when you wrapped your fingers around another one to steady him. Okay, you were super duper uncomfortable right now.

But he was staring at you with a red glow on his face, and a nervous smile. He was actually kind of cute when he…

No! No thinking the angry alley monster is cute!

But...as you patched up his rib and he replaced his shirt, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d be dead without him. Those freaks might have jumped you if you were alone, too.

“Thanks for saving me, Red.”

He looked surprised, halfway through pulling his coat on.

“From those guys? And for healing my head.”

“n-nah, don’t, uh, don’t worry about it, gorgeous. just...just self-preservation.”

“Well, thanks for preserving me, too, then! I owe you one, really.”

He chuckled as he finished pulling his sweater on. “alright, so you’ll give me a real dinner date?”

You immediately felt yourself blushing. Wow, that face he’s making should be considered illegal. He took your silence as a yes and swung off the desk chair. He shoved his hands in his coat pocket and gave you a confident grin.

“great, i’ll letcha know the details, sweetheart. you’ll have to come visit me next time, meet the fam, eh?”

Then he was gone.

Okay, you definitely didn’t have a crush on that skeleton.

D...Did you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl is back!  
> Sans better watch out!


	9. A Human Affliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans lets you help with a project...which you royally screw up.  
> It's downhill from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!  
> This chapter goes hand-in-hand with a chapter from my roommate's story Full-Term Commitment!  
> If you're missing anything, it's in her chapter [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10778259/chapters/24467559), and [here's](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10499457/chapters/23164038) to the first story to the series so you can see what Honey and Stretch have gone through together!  
> Enjoy the shenanigans!
> 
> TW: reference to child loss and death

 You poured two cups of coffee, one as habit and one because you wanted to. Turner’s was always the same: two splenda, and tons of cream. Sans wanted his black, but you always added a sugar packet because he always requested one sheepishly afterwards. You were halfway in the door when you remembered that Turner had already left for the weekend to fly out to Colorado and check on preparations for his move.

“forget somethin’, sweetheart?” Sans chuckled, putting his papers down.

“Uh, yeah.” You said sheepishly. You put his coffee down, and turned to walk away, but he caught your jacket, almost spilling the other coffee. He grabbed it, setting it back on the tray, blue dusting his cheekbones.

“shit! sorry, uh, i just…” He grinned up at you. “turner’s gone. wanna...take a look at my notes? i’m kinda...stuck, and i’d like your thoughts on it?”

Oh. He was offering you a chance to do some actual work? You tried to keep your excitement in check but???

“R-really?” You said, turning quickly back towards him.

Too quickly. The coffee did spill this time...all over his shirt and lab coat. He chuckled, but your face was burning. Here he was, showing you he really thought you were a smart person, and then you go and pull an idiot move like that.

“O-oh, Sans! I...I’m sorry! Are you alright?”

“well, guess i’ve  _ bean _ better.” he said, watching you fuss about in front of him with the towel from the tray. “hey, no worries. you ain’t the only one with spare clothes. you take a look at those notes, i’ll get changed.”

The look on your face was reward enough for him. It hadn’t been a lie, persay, he really was stuck and he really did think you could help. That adorable look you get when you’re shocked is a good bonus to possibly getting this experiment done before midnight.

As he headed for the locker room, he thought back to last week when he’d eavesdropped on your conversation with Red. He was upset with himself for not being there to protect you, but he guess he really had to thank Red for being there. And nothing really happened except the promise of a date that he’d not seen hide nor hair of since. And, well, he had to remember that you weren’t  _ actually  _ his...but no, he’d never let Red have you. Heh. Over his dead body!

Luckily for him, you’d been chipper and yourself lately, and he was looking forward to hanging out with you this weekend. Papyrus had extended an invitation to some pasta event, and you’d accepted. If he could get this experiment done tonight, then he wouldn’t need to worry about missing it.

He changed quickly, and was rewarded with your amended notes upon his return, and a sheepish smile.

“hey, you work fast. i was gone what, ten minutes?” He said with a chuckle as he flipped through them. The corrections were miniscule, but impressive. “hot damn, how’d i miss that?”

You flushed at his subtle compliments as he flipped through. Man, Tucker was squandering a very valuable resource having you at that desk. He couldn’t wait for that guy to be gone.

“hey, i know it’s late or...well, technically really early, but...you mind waitin’ up to run a test?”

God, you lit up like stars in the night sky at the suggestion.

“R-Really? You’d...let me work?”

“hey, doctor killjoy isn’t here, so duh!” He grinned wide as you hopped up out of your chair, babbling about the equipment needed.

“B-but, we’ll need a, uh….and...gosh, we need to calibrate the particle accelerator, and we need at least three of those, eh…” You snapped your fingers, trying to recall the name, and he put a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

“s’all ready in lab 2, just gotta switch these numbers you worked for me, doc.”

* * *

And so, somehow, you had ended up in Papyrus’ car, on your way to meet some of Sans’ family, thoroughly embarrassed by your screw-up and apologizing profusely.

“God, I’m sorry.”

“you said that,” Sans chuckled.

“But I am. Papyrus? I’m so sorry.”

“IT IS NOT AN ISSUE, DEAR HUMAN!....SO LONG AS IT IS TEMPORARY.”

The test had not….gone as planned. Sans had stepped out from the test chamber...and...well…

He was human.

Well, he looked human, anyway. He was tanned, with dark, curly hair that you wanted desperately to run your fingers through (damn, it just looked so touchable!) and big blue eyes that were currently squinting as he stared at his papers, trying to find the error.

Papyrus had been similarly affected, and, according to a panicked phone call from his cousin (not one of the ones you’d met, though you weren’t certain that was a good thing), so had they. Papyrus seemed to be happy about it for now, joking about his new muscles as his dark curls bounced in the wind from his convertible. He hummed as his amber eyes scanned the road, looking for the house number.

“I just feel really, really bad. My first project and I totally fucked it up, I’m so so--”

“hey, stop that, this is loads better than where i was. at least something happened this time. that’s what science is about, right?” He turned to smile at you, and you were struck once again by how incredibly handsome he was this way. You’d barely been able to form a sentence when he’d first stepped out of the chamber, staring at you quizzically, gesturing to himself. “hey, wanna take these an’ put ‘em away? we’re almost there.”

You obediently took the papers as Papyrus pulled into a driveway, and nodded to them that you’d be right with them as you stuffed them into a briefcase. 

When you finally caught up, you could see the door was open, and he was talking to someone.

“... nice to meetcha. this is my…”

You tuned him out immediately because  _ holy shit his hair looked so nice in the light. _ And he was distracted...maybe…

Before you could think better of it, you stepped forward, tangling your hands in his hair. Oh, man, it was softer than you’d imagined! He let out a very unmanly squeak, batting your hands away. You withdrew, giggling as he turned to gesture at you like ‘the fuck?’

“S-sorry, Sans, I’ve just been dying to do that all day. Your new hair just looked so  _ soft _ .” You giggled. Movement caught your eye and you were shocked to see a human girl around your age and height standing in the doorway. Geez, you hadn’t expected to be meeting a human! You were instantly embarrassed by your behavior. You also didn’t miss the myriad of scars on her arms and shoulders. She had been through something really rough...and really recently, from the looks of it. But she seemed super cheerful, so whatever it was seemed to be firmly in the past. Best not to bring it up. “O-oh! A human! I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to...sorry, he said we were visiting cousins, he didn’t mention there’d be another human here, too.”

As you stepped up to shake the girl’s hand, Sans could feel all the frustration at your little hair tousle surprise melt away. You were just so freaking cute when you blushed like that! Stars, he had to tease you, to make you turn more red.

“this is my lab partner, you can just call her  _ doc _ ,” he teased. Your face was exactly what he wanted, embarrassed and totally red as a tomato. You even huffed at him. He chuckled. “s’cute, makes her get all red.”

And it  _ was _ cute. In fact, he hardly heard anything his cousin’s girlfriend said after that, save that he could call her “Honey”. Heh. Just the nickname Stretch would give his girlfriend. At one point, you looked at him expectantly, and fuck, he hadn’t heard a word you’d said, so he just shrugged lazily, hands in his pockets. 

Honey invited you all in, and Papyrus was quick to swoop in to chat her ear off. Good, Sans didn’t feel like talking. Right now, he was more concerned with the way all this squishy human-ness felt, and the sensitive skin he now had...he wanted to reach out and touch you back, interested to see how it felt with all this skin and muscle tissue and nerve bundles. Even you just touching his hair had sent a jolt up his spine. God, if he could just get you alone for a mome--

“oohhh, look who  _ finally _ made it.”

Sans barely had a chance to take in the scene before he was seething with rage. He knew exactly who the half-naked human in front of him was, and he wanted  _ none _ of it. How had he forgotten they were staying here??

It took you a long moment to realize what you were seeing. A platinum blonde man, broad-shouldered and very, very pale (tiny freckles dotted his shoulders and nose, very cute actually), and ripped as hell, was flexing in a pair of boxer briefs and nothing else. It wasn’t until he grinned and you saw a golden tooth that you recognized him. He stops flexing and begins to move forward, and then all you can see is the palm of Papyrus’ glove.

“GOODNESS ME, RED! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?” He gasped, pulling you back protectively. Red’s deep chuckle was heard as he moved closer again.

“not when it comes to my sweet little nurse, i don’t. why didn’tcha tell me you were comin’, baby? i hadta find out from stretch.” He pushed Papyrus’ hand out of the way, grinning down at you eagerly. “like what you see, nurse?”

Truthfully? Yes. God, yes. Also truthfully? You probably looked a bit like a tomato, and this was extremely embarrassing for you. You weren’t even sure if you liked Red...like that...and you hadn’t exactly been given a choice here in whether you wanted to see his skivvies.

Sans was quickly in between the two of you, pushing Red back and tucking you behind him protectively. You were relieved, honestly, because your heart was hammering so hard you thought you might actually have a heart attack.

At least you’d have the distraction of science.

* * *

The guys were, surprisingly,  _ all scientists _ , so shortly after your explanation, you were simply listening to them argue over the numbers. Stretch turned out to be tall and lanky, similar to Papyrus, but his human look was blonde haired and amber-eyed. Sans had explained on the way that his “cousins” were actually alternate versions of him and his brother, though he explained somewhat begrudgingly, and only when Papyrus mentioned you wouldn’t know how to start fixing it without all the details.  You’d pretty much suspected it from the beginning, already knowing that Red and Edge’s real names were the same as their counterparts, and from Sans’ snide comments when you first met them.

Honey seemed very interested in Sans and Papyrus’ names, indicating that Stretch and his brother (who was out right now, but you heard someone call him Blue?) had told her only as much as their real names, and none of that AU and multiverse conceptual stuff. You couldn’t blame them, it was really hard to wrap your head around, even for a scientist, and it would probably complicate things since she seemed to be Stretch’s girlfriend. If you’re dating one Papyrus, is it cheating to kiss another? Shower thoughts, for sure.

Speaking of Honey, she looked really lost right now. You leaned over, catching her attention.

“Basically, I got some numbers wrong, and because they’re all family and the experiment used Sans’ DNA, they all changed. Eh...My bad.” You smiled weakly at her, and she looked hugely relieved.

“Oh, thank God...I had no idea what was going on.” She said sheepishly, squeezing Stretch's hand. You caught the sweet smile on his face as he squeezed her right back. So cute.

“Science. It’s confusing, convoluted, and entirely too much math,” you said with a giggle.

Sans only spared a small glance to your conversation with Honey, very glad to see you making friends, but entirely too wrapped up in his conversation. Stretch’s brows were furrowed as he pinpointed and circled several missed calculations. Sans watched him make weird faces at his phone, glancing over at you and Honey every few minutes. Finally, he looked up at Sans with that knowing smirk of his.

“you know, i’m glad you gotta human mate too. now they can be best friends.”

Sans froze in the act of circling a suspicious equation, sweating slightly under Stretch’s gaze. Shit. He'd seen the mark.

“i, um…we ar-- we ain’t together…” 

Stretch’s grin didn’t falter, but rather got falsely large.

“say again, sans?”

“we ain’t together…” he trailed off, glaring at the big brother look he was getting from him. Sometimes he swears Stretch looks at him and only sees Blue.

Stretch’s hand is lightning fast as it darts out, snatching Sans’ newly acquired earlobe. He suppresses a shriek as the pain from his sensitive nerves lights up, following Stretch’s movements as he excuses themselves politely and drags him to through the back door and into the yard.

“explain.” He says gruffly, releasing him near the garden.

“jeez, stretch, you know the story. hell, you were tellin’ me the same one not, what, six months ago?” He grumbled, rubbing his ear. He distinctly remembered the panicked texts about accidentally marking their human friend during a drunken bout.

Stretch looked surprised, then covered his mouth while he chuckled. “you mean you got drunk and nailed her, and marked her on accident?”

“sounds crude when you say it like that.”

“it  _ is _ crude. i’m just lucky my honey and i got together shortly after. no such luck for you, i assume?” Sans grimaced, and Stretch started laughing anew. “s-sorry! oh, fuck. it’s just funny that you went and repeated my mistake.”

“yeah, hilarious.” He glanced over to the window, where he could see you talking to Honey in the kitchen. You had that pleasant, slightly embarrassed flush on your face, talking about something he couldn't hear. Stretch followed his gaze.

“hmm...maybe you’ll get lucky like i did.”

Sans snorted. “s’not likely. we’re professional partners, we got rules and everything that keeps us from being together.”

“oh, wowie. sorry, man.” It was a sincere apology this time, and Sans dropped the tension in his shoulders. Man, muscles sure get sore a lot faster than bones. “hey, uh, look, my workshop’s just over here. let’s put those equations to use, huh?”

A welcome distraction. He sighed and turned to follow Stretch, not seeing you bolting out of the kitchen as fast as you could.

* * *

You stammered an excuse and then bolted out of the kitchen like a bat out of hell. Oh, God, you thought as you locked the bathroom door behind you. This was too much.

You really liked Honey. That wasn’t why you bolted. You’d bolted because you’d almost said something about the true nature of the relationship between the guys, and you weren’t exactly sure where Stretch was on that talk with her. The last thing you wanted to do was cause distress for their relationship, especially since you’d just discovered she was  _ pregnant _ . Didn't even know that could happen between monsters and humans.

You took a deep breath, glancing at yourself in the mirror. You’d taken the pregnancy thing pretty well, all things considered, but you hadn’t been prepared for her to ask if you had kids. You’d almost broken the mug in your hands as you side-stepped the question, and thank God she hadn’t thought it polite to pry further. She seemed to understand what you’d meant when you said you’d been pregnant before.

God, don’t start thinking about this now.

You groaned, leaning your head against the mirror. James’ face was swimming in your head, bright and sunny, laughing. God, he was...he’d been...you shook your head, trying to shake his image loose. 

No more thinking about what might have been, y/n. 

It only leads to sadness.

…

…

...damn. Still thinking about it. How could you not? You’d have a what, 8-year-old by now? And be living happily with the love of your life, probably back in Boston. Instead all you had was ashes, resentment, and grief, unbearable grief. The image of his dead eyes in your mind, the pain of the miscarriage still stabbing your womb...grief marred by the relief of the death of your father, a sick, twisted sense of relief that he was gone. He was gone, but so was James.

_ “I’ll never leave you, princess. Don’t worry.” _

How cruel.

* * *

It was verging on an hour before you felt comfortable leaving the bathroom again. Hopefully nobody had really noticed...

...

...

...

And no one had. Whew. Sans was in the workshop, and Stretch was napping lazily on the couch. You’d heard Honey shuffle out the door to get some quick work done, and there was no sign of anyone else. You smoothed your blouse and headed for the coat closet to grab your jacket. Maybe Sans needed your help in the workshop...you hoped you wouldn't ruin everything this time.

You really weren't expecting to be attacked by the closet.

As you opened the door, a hand shot out and dragged you in, slamming the door behind you. Your scream was stifled by another hand, and a familiar deep chuckle behind you.

“jeez, sweetheart, i haven’t even done anything to really make ya scream yet.” He turned you around, and you saw that Red had not taken Sans’ and Stretch’s _repeated_ requests to put clothes on. He was still clad only in boxer briefs, making you turn a bright cherry red and stare pointedly up at the dim lightbulb.

“You’re, uh, still naked.” You pointed out, somewhat redundantly.

“not yet, but i could be.” He teased. He ran a hand up your arm. “hmmm...all this skin and nerves an’ stuff...feels pretty nice. how do you focus on anything when ya have so much... _ stimulus _ ?”

The last word was practically a purr, and one strong arm snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“I, uh...I guess it’s just normal, everyday stuff for me, so it’s, uhm...dulled?” You tried feebly to push yourself off of him, but his grip was absolute. Damn, he was strong. But...it felt...nice.

“and lips, eh? i never knew what i was missin’ i guess,” he said, smug grin on his face while he tapped his lips. “i would just love to find out what these babies can do before i lose ‘em.”

“Sans!” You whisper-shout automatically. This was dangerous, alone in a small space with some guy you may or may not have feelings for?? You have no idea why you squeaked it so quietly, but you hoped he would come help you anyway.

“i haven’t given you a reason to say my name, nurse,” Red laughed. He was looking at you with a confident grin and an arched eyebrow that just said ‘don’t you want me?’

And you honestly, kind of, sort of, did? You don’t really know! God! Stupid sexy skeletons....er, skeleton? Eh, skele...man?

Finally he let out an impatient noise, disgruntled by your silence, and leaned down as if to kiss you. You could feel his hot breath on your face as you sat, frozen, wondering if you wanted this, trying to make a decision before--

His teeth bonked into your face awkwardly, and you heard him curse.

“shit. back to normal, i guess. an’ i was looking forward to kissin’ with lips.”

He was indeed a skeleton once again, and you were just pushing him away when--

_ SLAM! _

The door to the closet flew open, and you both froze, Red staring over at Sans as he stood in the doorway, anger rolling off of him in waves. His recovery was lightning quick as he grinned devilishly at Sans.

“hey, can’t a guy get some priva-”

“ **no.** ” Sans hissed, and in a flash he peeled Red off of you and pulled you out of the closet, leading you quickly away.

You had only whispered his name, but he could feel it. From the workshop, where he’d been so close to the answer. He was furious, mostly with himself for pausing to run the sequence before he came to get you. If he’d left you in there with that pervert for one more second, who knows what might’ve happened? How could he be so selfish? He knew that your whisper had contained so much uncomfortable energy and yet...no, he couldn’t be mad about fixing the mistake. He was back to normal now, and you were unharmed, and that’s what mattered.

You were stumbling behind him as he grumbled a goodbye to Stretch and Honey and Papyrus fell into step beside the two of you, catching up quickly with long strides.

“SANS, WHY ARE WE LEAVING IN SUCH A RUSH? BLUE HAS JUST COME HOME, AND WE WERE ABOUT TO START A NEW PUZZ--”

“just gotta go, lotsa stuff to do in the lab before the day’s through so we can go to that pasta bake you were talking about tomorrow.” He lied, shutting your door as you climbed into the backseat. Papyrus immediately perked up at the mention of the pasta fair. “but we gotta get out of here now, okay?”

"LEAVE IT TO ME, BROTHER! I AM AN EXCELLENT GETAWAY DRIVER! I'VE BEEN WATCHING THOSE OLD MOB MOVIES Y/N LENT US!"

You shrieked when Papyrus sped away suddenly, tumbling across the backseat as he turned out of the driveway at breakneck speeds. You vaguely heard Red yelling “call me!” from behind you, but you were too dizzy from the tumble to realize what was happening. Everything had happened so fast, from the closet to here...and Sans…

Well, Sans looked pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! It's kind of fun to see everything from the different perspectives, and man did we learn something about reader today!


	10. We Need a New Hobby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and you both think the other is mad, and you also both get sloshed...again. Ever tried needlepoint?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrrry! SOOOOO SOOOOORRRYYYYY  
> I know it's been forever, but you can thank the lovely [asterxsk](http://asterxsk.tumblr.com/) for motivating me to finish this chapter.  
> This is mostly setting up for future chapters, sorry!

It was very quiet in the lab.

So quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

You glanced over the numbers for a fourth time, even though the calculations were done. You were only doing it to avoid Sans’ gaze as he looked over at you. You didn’t want the see the hardness in his eyes that had been prevalent since you’d returned from Stretch and Blue’s house.

God. It’d been hours, and he hadn’t said a word. You were starting to think he was really, really mad. You removed your reading glasses and rubbed your eyes, giving them a little break. Why was he so angry? You had said you were sorry about the screwup, and he’d seemed so light-hearted about it until he’d fixed everything. So...was it something else? Was it you being in the closet with Red like that? It’s not like you planned that, or even necessarily wanted it. He’d had you cornered, but it was no excuse for leaving Sans alone to do all the work.

Well...probably best to just apologize. Whatever it was, it was making him tenser as the moments slipped by, and he was starting to break pencils. You willed yourself to look over at him.

“Sans...I…”

His head shot up at your voice, fumbling his clipboard momentarily, and he looked over at you with wide sockets, the tension in his shoulders coiling tighter. You stared at each other for a moment, and then you scrambled out of your seat, embarrassed.

“Uhm. I...I’m getting coffee. Would you...like some?” Well, that’s a start.

His frame relaxed and he started to look less like a frightened cat. “uh...yeah. thanks.”

He watched as you scurried from the room, feeling absolutely miserable. He was certain you were upset with him. That was the first exchange the two of you had had since you’d returned to the lab, and it had sounded very...forced. Or rushed. Like you couldn’t wait to get away from him. He groaned, leaning his skull against the analyzer screen. He’d been so stupid. He’d come to terms with the fact that Red would be Red, but he hadn’t been prepared for the idea that you might be okay with that. That you might...like him. You’d been blushing so fiercely, even though you were uncomfortable…

Speaking of which...when you called for him, and he’d stopped to run the sequence before going to retrieve you...what if it hadn’t been Red? What if it had been more serious, and he’d dawdled like that, playing with his science shit while you were being attacked? This world was dangerous, unforgiving. He’d seen the multitude of horrors that could befall a naive human such as yourself, including (but not limited to) manipulation, soul ciphering, and good old-fashioned physical violence. His pencil snapped in his hand as he thought of you calling for him, calling for someone you trusted to save you, and him not coming. How your face would fall when you realized he wasn’t there, as whatever darkness you were facing took you and--

He dropped the pencil shards, grimacing at the splinters sticking out of his bones. He can’t sit here and think about stuff like that, it...it wasn’t healthy.

“...Sans?”

Your voice soothed him in spite of himself, and he tried not to look at you as you placed his coffee on the desk next to the machine he was working on, instead focusing on pulling the small bits of wood out of his hand. How could he look you in the eye when he’d been so selfish, so possessive? Only thinking about himself, still. After all this time. He dotes on Papyrus because it makes him feel important. He helped the kid through the underground because he wanted to see the sun. He took this job because he wanted to go back to being the person he was before, carefree and hopeful and decidedly _unselfish_.

...He’d marked you like an animal because he wanted you, without stopping to think of the consequences or to ask if you even reciprocated his feelings. He wanted to fix the timelines so much that he thrust responsibility onto you, causing you to beat yourself up for a mistake you never should have made, and all because he thought it _might_ bring his father back...which, again, was for his own sick sense of accomplishment and to ease his own mind, and not because he wanted to help.

“Uhm, Sans?” You asked again, and he felt your hand on his forearm. He jerked back suddenly as if you had burned him, mostly out of surprise but also because he _didn’t deserve it_. He didn’t deserve your empathy...but he was kicking himself immediately when he saw the dejected look on your face. “Oh, uh...s-sorry. Uhm, I think I’m going to c-call it a night. I have to pack the rest of my apartment, so…”

“wait.” He laid his hand nervously on your arm to stop you from going. He wanted to say something, but the words kept getting caught in his throat. “i...i’m s…”

“I’m sorry!” You blurted out, grabbing his hand. He blinked in surprise, but before he could say anything, you continued. “I’m sorry, I really am. I’m sorry for messing up the project, and for screwing around while you were working hard to fix it. I swear I was on my way to help when Red trapped me in the closet, I didn--”

“woah, woah, slow down, stop!” He said, squeezing your hand firmly, confusion etched onto his skull. “take a deep breath, sweetheart. why are you apologizing?”

“...Aren’t you mad at me?”

The innocence in your eyes elicited a short bark of laughter from him, which he stifled with his free hand. You thought _he_ was mad at _you_? If anything, it should be the other way around.

“what even...geez, never. why’dja think that?”

“Because you haven’t said a word to me since you threw me in the back of the car seven hours ago.” You said blankly, as if it was the most obvious thing. Wow. When you put it that way, he felt like a dick. He wanted nothing more than to pull you close and reassure you that you’d done nothing wrong, but instead he squeezed your hand before dropping it along with his gaze.

“no, no, i didn’t...listen, i’m only mad at myself. i...just, it isn’t you, okay?”

Your relieved smile only served to make him feel worse, but he managed a half-assed grin in return. Clearly you weren’t upset with him, which was good, better than good.

He cleared his throat, trying to search for a way to make up his actions.

“hey, uh, maybe we should call it a night after all. grillby’s?”

You sighed and laughed at him tiredly.

“Yes. Please, that sounds amazing.”

* * *

It was nearly midnight when you guys made it out of the lab and struck out towards Grillby’s. You both had to get up early for Papyrus’ pasta festival thing, but for some reason that didn’t seem to matter as you joked and carried on like normal.

Relief clung to his soul as he realized you were the same as ever. He’d never ignore your call again, that much he knew, so maybe with you laughing beside him, he could be a bit more lenient with himself for once.

Once inside Grillby’s, the two of you were greeted with a rousing cheer, as the Saturday night crowd was still boisterous and ready to party. He introduced you to anyone he might have missed last time, including Doggo, Dogaressa, and Lesser Dog (who liked you very much, and barked anytime you were more than three feet from him). He had been forced to tell his tale of woe previously, and had endured Grillby’s dad mode as a result, so lucky for him nobody said anything about your mark.

He spent most of the night just watching you interact with the other monsters, and he couldn’t help but grin at your genuine adorable-ness. You listened raptly to any story anyone deigned to tell you, and everyone was clamoring to buy you a drink. Humans were rare in monster establishments, so perhaps it was just that you were such a novelty to them, but everyone seemed to love you immediately. He could definitely understand. You were just so full of life, so energetic, he wished he could see you like this at work.

He frowned, thinking about how thoroughly crushed you appeared during the work day. He saw glimmers of the girl he was seeing now sometimes, like after a particularly good joke, or at the gala...but your passion had waned into silent compliance under Turner’s thumb. He couldn’t wait for that guy to be gone, so he could remind you of the wonders of science and make something explode. Hmmm...even though it was only in his head, that still sounded dirty.

_“Sans...oh, God, don’t stop…”_

He blinked and shook his head, looking back at his drink as he began to sweat. This was neither the time nor the place to remember that night, but...he pressed his hands against his sockets as he remembered the way your skin had felt against his bare bones. He wished you both hadn’t been so drunk, he wished all that passion was real and not just fueled by whiskey. He wanted to…

He was drunk, he shouldn’t listen to himself right now. He knew he wanted you already, he didn’t need the drink to tell him that. What he wanted was for the drink to tell _you_ that.

“Sans...your friend may need to go home before Lesser Dog envelops her completely.” Sans’ head snapped up to meet Grillby’s eyes with a guilty expression. “And for Asgore’s sake, Sans, control yourself. You’re in public.”

Shit. He was...having the opposite problem of whiskey dick. He slipped his hands into his lap, thinking vaguely that he should be more embarrassed...then again, he was very drunk, and it’s not like Grillby hadn’t already seen him at his worst.

“what, you’re the only one allowed to get hot under the collar in your bar?” He slurred, grinning at his old friend. Grillby crackled with laughter, short and patronizing. He chuckled in return as he stood from his barstool, ready to go retrieve you from Lesser Dog’s cuddle puddle by the jukebox, but Grillby caught his arm.

“Do I need to walk the lady back myself, or are you going to behave this time?” Grillby asked, a warning tone to his voice.

“hey, you offend me. i’m a master of self-control...mark incident not included. don’ lookit me like that.”

“I shall look at you how I believe you deserve.” Grillby drawled, seeming to raise an eyebrow at him. If he were slightly drunker, or slightly meaner by nature, he’d flip him off and tell him to sit and spin. But instead he just shrugged and chuckled, stumbling away towards you to pull you out of the knot that LD had made out of his neck.

You were laughing as you fell against his chest, just like you had that night after the club. He felt the familiar thump and whine of his soul, begging to pour more magic into that mark, to take you into his embrace again. You smelled so damn good, like wisteria and whiskey once again.

“Sans! This dog...di’joo know his neck can grow, like, super fucking long? Lookit. He made a square knot. Bye LD! We’ll play more next time!”

Drunk him growled slightly seeing you hug LD so familiarly. He shouldn’t be like this. You weren't even his.

You didn’t even notice, being too busy checking your phone to see if Red had texted you back. He seemed entertained by your drunk texting. So far, the conversation had gone pretty well.

 

**You:** what has two thumbs and just drank like ten shots

**AssholeSans:** hmmm….agnes from accounting?

**You:** this girl!

**You:** wait

**You:** tht’s a funnier joke when u can actually c my thumbs

**AssholeSans:** heh. i still thought it was pretty good

**AssholeSans:** so, didja miss me already? you only left me hangin’ in that closet like 8 hours ago

**You:** you may find it hard to believe this, but I do not have many fries

**AssholeSans:** then you should probably order more, lol

**You:** frisky

**You:** friends. Really feeling those dribks rn

**AssholeSans:** u out with the nerd?

**You:** he’s not a nerd. Ok, he is, but so am i. He’s a cool nerd, tho, like the nerds who pass as non-nerds and get all the poon tang in high school

**AssholeSans:** poon tang. i’ll have to remember that one.

**You:** hey it’it’s a term

**AssholeSans:** so is rectal leakage but you don’t see me throwing it out there casually like that

**AssholeSans:** yes i realize i just threw it out there casually

**You:** so you know how smashed I am?

**AssholeSans:** i got a feeling you're gonna tell me

**You:** I ’m so drunk, I can’t remember the joke I was going to tell you

**You:** but trust me, it was good

**AssholeSans:** i got one

**You:** tell meeeeee

**AssholeSans:** you’re so drunk, you might go do something stupid

**AssholeSans:** now ask me what i am

**You:** what are u?

 

He hadn’t responded yet as you stumbled back over to hook your arm through Sans’. As you crossed the threshold, your phone buzzed and you couldn’t help but blush as you read his response, still holding Sans’ hand tightly as he led you down the street.

 

**AssholeSans:** something stupid ;)

* * *

It was...hazy after that. You remember that you couldn’t figure out the lock on the lab. You remember Sans giving up and taking you back home with him...Papyrus giving you a blanket...muffled talking...sleep...warmth…

Content.

And then…

“I’m so...sorr... _blegh_ …”

At this point the vomit was just falling from your mouth. You could barely feel the heaves anymore as you chucked what little you’d eaten straight into the toilet. Sans was leaning against the cupboard under the sink, one hand twisted into your hair to hold it back, and the other holding his waist as he choked back his laughter at your misery.

“ _snerk--_ no, don’t apologize.”

“But this is so... _bluuuuhhh_...gross.”

“heh. not like you can help it. easy now.” He held your head as you leaned back and you felt a warm, wet cloth press against your face as he cleaned you carefully. “s’my fault anyway. i shoulda been watching you...i told ya monster alcohol was crazy super strong.”

“I’m gonna--” He helped you lean your head back over the toilet with a sigh, his grip on your hair soft and reassuring. He moved slightly, and you could feel his other hand rubbing your back.

“don’t hold back, let it all out.” He said with a pat. You laughed dryly, but the movement made you heave again, and the last of what was in your stomach made it’s way into the porcelain throne. “...done?”

You nodded and let him help you lean back. You ended up with your head back on his chest as he leaned against the opposite wall, bringing the cloth to your face again.

You looked so pitiful as you leaned back on him, but he couldn’t help but be grateful he had had the sense to bring you home instead of leave you at the lab. You might have had to deal with this alone...or worse, choked on your own puke. He tossed the washcloth in the sink, making a move to get up, but a disgruntled noise from you made him settle for sitting here a while longer. Not that he minded. You sighed as he lightly dragged his thumbs in circles on your upper arms comfortingly.

“I haven’t been that sick since I was pr...since I was young.” Shoot. You’d almost said “pregnant” and now you’d made yourself sad. He didn’t seem to notice the slip-up, though, or at least he pretended not to, and instead began to hum reassuringly. “...thanks for doing this. Sorry I’m the worst coworker. You seem to always see me drunk.”

“nah, s’no big. happens to the best of us. we should probably find somethin’ to do together other than drinking, though.”

“Arts and crafts?”

“i heard embroidery is fun, but _tibia-_ nest i never saw the _point_.”

He squeezed your arms as you shot him a smile over your shoulder, a sincere, dazzling smile that made his breath hitch, before your eyes slid closed and you leaned into his embrace. For a moment he wasn’t clouded by the alcohol, and the only thing his mind could think was just... _you_. Your hands found his and you laced fingers, pulling his arms fully around you impatiently. He followed without hesitation, until he was wrapped around you and you laid your head back, almost right next to his on his shoulder.

Your hair was falling in just the right way. He could see the little blue teardrop on your shoulder, and he brushed his thumb over it without thinking, feeling a deep, animalistic satisfaction at the sight of it, rumbling silently in his chest like a growl that never reached his voice.

He didn’t want to let go of you, but you seemed really tired. You needed to rest soon.

“think you can keep your lunch down if i teleport?” He muttered, muffled slightly by your hair.

“Mmm...nothin’ left to puke.”

He grinned at that, and in seconds you were on the couch. He didn’t really think it through, though, and it occurred to him that he was still decidedly sloshed as you both landed hard on the couch with a chorus of shrieks. He was still spooning you, which meant that you had effectively trapped his arm, and you giggled.

“You gonna stay with me tonight?” You asked, and he chuckled right back. Drunk Brain’s commentary...you kept to yourself. Not PG.

“s’my house, i think technically you’re staying with _me_.” He said, leaning back to let you adjust.

“This is two weeks in a row I’ve ended up drunk on your couch.” You groaned, leaning back with him to settle in. Drunk Brain seemed to deign that this was totally normal for two coworkers to do right now, and who were you to argue with her? All you knew was that it felt nice to have that pressure against your back, like all those nights so long ago that James had snuck into bed with you, holding you close. Even the one person you had tried to date (you use the term ‘date’ rather loosely here) in college had never been this close to you outside of sex. Sex, well, that was one thing...intimacy was another, and intimate this was. Anyone else, and even Drunk Brain would probably veto it.

But it was Sans, and you hadn’t felt this comfortable with someone since James had died. He genuinely cared for you, he was funny, he was smart...man, he’d certainly be a great person to have a crush on if you could.

_And why not?_ Drunk Brain said. _Crushes aren’t fraternizing. You can look at him all you want._

...True.

_And it says nothing about kissing. Only dating._

Hey now.

_And it doesn’t say anything about se--_

“y’okay, sweetheart?” Sans mumbled from behind you, sounding sleepy. “y’keep movin’.”

“Fine!” You responded, with a little too much vigor as you tried to clear the fog in your brain long enough to silence the Drunk Brain. You stilled yourself as best you could, and he gave a sleepy, contented noise as he pulled you close again, nuzzling into your shoulder. He flicked his wrist, bumping your shoulder lightly as a blanket landed over the two of you, trapping his warmth against you. You clutched it with one hand, bringing it up to your face as Drunk Brain tried to convince you to start fucking around.

_Just move your ass a little. He’ll love it._

Oh, God, why were you considering it.

_You can feel his breath on your neck...doesn’t it excite you? Ohhhh, his hand is on your waist now. Whatcha gonna do about it?_

Shut up, shut up. You’d thrown up enough to be doubting Drunk Brain logically, but apparently they had Drunk Body on their side because you made an unwarranted moan when he shifted his hand slightly, making him freeze behind you and retract his touch. You could actually hear the click of his sockets opening swiftly. Curse you, Drunk Y/n!

You passed it off as a yawn, surprisingly, but your heart was still hammering when his hand returned to your waist tentatively.

You’d better go to sleep, or this would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all can do other stuff than drink, y'know.


	11. The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne helps you get a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaaaat an update? This story isn't completely dead???  
> Enjoy!

Papyrus may be a little naive sometimes, but he isn’t blind.

He sees everything.

Yesterday, Sans had been so flustered when they left Stretch’s abode that Papyrus hadn’t thought to question his haste, nor the way he all but threw you into the car and then lapsed into perfect silence for the whole rest of the ride. It would have been easy to ignore it, but Papyrus had trained himself not to miss all the subtle signs Sans gives off when he’s getting down on himself, such as prolonged silence unpunctuated by puns. As was usual, Papyrus had gotten to work on creating a comfy safe space for Sans in the living room, ready to cheer him up when he stopped working that night.

However, as was  _ not _ usual, Sans’ distress had melted away by the time he stumbled home with you in hand, grinning (metaphorical) ear to ear and smelling strongly of ketchup and whiskey. You were thoroughly smashed, judging from the way you were dragging your feet, and Sans wasn’t in much better shape. After scolding him for his behavior, Papyrus had moved you to the comfy blanket nest he’d built for Sans, only to have you flip out as soon as your back hit the blankets and take off to the bathroom.

The older skeleton had, of course, bolted out after you, and as Papyrus listened through the door to your heaving, he thought about the evidence he had on hand.

It was obvious to him, having observed his brother’s behavior over the last two months, that Sans had...what was the phrase Undyne had used? _ Caught feelings _ ? Mark aside, it was plain as day that Sans was enamored with you.

Papyrus peeked into the living room, smiling as he caught you both sleeping on the couch. It warmed his heart to see genuine ease across his brother’s face like this. And no nightmares tonight! He snuck in, drawing the blanket higher over the two of you, trying to think of ways to get Sans to go a little easier on himself. He wanted to see this relaxed face more often, instead of the strained grin Sans had been giving him lately when it came to you. 

Everyone had given him a pretty hard time for marking you, but even a babybones could see he was being far harder on himself. Papyrus couldn’t be terribly mad at him, really...Sans had always had trouble controlling his magic, ever since they were little--Big magic in a little body, a result of some form of augmentation he refused to talk about--and on top of that (or maybe as a consequence of that) he had always been more susceptible to his instinctual monster urges, both in battle and in life. And so, to mark someone in the heat of the moment, without his right mind about him...well, it was a primal instinct, plain and simple...besides, it wouldn’t have shown if the affection wasn’t mutual.

What Papyrus  _ didn’t _ understand was why Sans didn’t just tell you, about the mark and the sex as well as his feelings. He didn’t understand why the two of you were letting such a flimsy rule on a piece of paper stop you from having something truly special…

Oh stars. He watched with glee as you snuffled a little, and Sans drew you closer, nuzzling your hair. He could barely hold back the soft ‘awww’ in his throat, delighted at the adorable sight in front of him. He really needed to get you guys together for good.

He pulled out his phone, not even trying to resist the urge to snap a picture of how cute you both looked. He was already hatching a plan as he texted it to Undyne, a mischievous smirk growing across his skull.

* * *

You stared at the vendor with a primal hunger in your eyes. He sweated slightly under your gaze as he spooned the baked ziti onto the plate, placing it into your eager hands quickly before moving on the the next customer.

Oh, God, you didn’t think it was possible to want a plate of pasta this badly. You turned to return to the table so your hungover ass could enjoy some carbs, but Undyne popped up at just the wrong moment.

“HEY NERD! Oh, shit, sorry, man.” She said sheepishly, looking down at your ziti enjoying it’s new home on the ground. You were legitimately mourning the loss, with a small ‘nooooo’ falling from your trembling lips. “I’ll, uh, buy you some more, c’mon.”

She hooked her arm around your shoulders to walk you back to the vendor, and you gave the man a sad look. He took pity on you, and soon your hands were graced with a plate of ziti once again.

It had been pretty hard to get up this morning. You’d been so comfortable, so content...until Papyrus had come bounding down the stairs, shouting about the pasta festival and causing you to knock heads with Sans in surprise. You both were more than a little embarrassed by the position you’d woken up in (legs tangled, his arms wrapped around your waist and shoulders as you all but choked him with your hair--not your best moment) but you’d been quick to say that it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and that you liked it. Sans seemed to relax after that, though if his current hollow face was any indication, his head was probably pounding just as hard as yours.

The pasta fair was a huge event, and held more than just pasta. All sorts of Italian foods graced the streets of the fair, and Papyrus was in noodle heaven. He’d spent a good twenty minutes stuffing the submission box with recipes in an attempt to win some “noodle king” contest, and then had sat his tailbone down to eagerly await the results. You hadn’t the heart to tell him it wouldn’t be announced for hours. Well, at least Sans was sitting over there with him, so he wasn't lonely. 

“ANYWAY. I heard you have a crush on a certain skeleton?” Undyne asked bluntly.

You almost choked on your pasta, coughing and sputtering and turning red. “Wha-what?!”

“Come on, Papyrus told me what happened. You'd have to be dumb not to see the signs, nerd!”

“Papyrus told you...oh, God, I didn't even know he knew about that!” You groaned. "For the record, I had no part in it, it was all him. He is  _ very _ strong.”

“No excuses! So, what's holding you back, then?”

“I don't see why it matters,” you mumbled. “It's not like he really likes me back. He's just nice.”

“Are you BLIND?” She groaned. “I’ve never seen him like this before, you loser! It's written all over his skull!”

“...Really? You know him that well?”

“DUH.” She said. “Look, all you gotta do is send some flirty text, like...ask him if he wants to see a picture of your boobies, and watch his reaction. He definitely wants to bone. You'll see.”

You gave her a startled look. “I...I can't send him that!”

“No, you just say that and wait for him to freak out, and then send him of picture of blue-footed Boobies. You know, the birds.”

“St-still!” You were really turning red now, and Undyne couldn't hold back her snicker. You were very easily flustered.

“ _ Fine _ , nerd. Just send him a text asking when he's free. If he gives excuses and specific times, he's not into you, but if he says whenever you want, he wants to smash.”

“Oh my Gooooooood,” you squeaked, burying your face in your hands. “If I do this, will you stop saying he wants to...you know?”

“Take you to the bone-zone?”

“God, yes,  _ that _ .”

“Sure, nerd. I'll stop when you have a date.”

“ _ Fine _ .” She watched you pull out your phone and type something. It chimed almost immediately, and she watched you blush. “Oh God.”

“What’d he say?”

“Uhhh...he responded...favorably…” You muttered, typing back again. “Okay, so he likes me. What do I do now?”

Undyne glanced over to Sans and frowned. He didn't  _ look _ like a guy who's secret crush just asked him out. Then again, she's never been able to tell exactly what he's thinking. “Well, ask him out for real, then.”

“B-but...that's so...forward…” You protested. Undyne shot you a look, and you sighed picking up your phone again. “I'm not sure how to do that considering the content of what he sent back.”

“Why, what'd he say?”

You flushed again. “Uhm… ‘i’m always free for an ass like yours’?”

“Holy crap, I didn't think he had it in him,” Undyne said, almost impressed.

“Really? From my experience this is how he always is.”

“Damn. Alright. Well, what do you want to do with him?”

“Uhm...we could go out to dinner or something? He's more or less offered that already.” Suddenly your face brightened, and you broke into a huge smile. “I have the  _ perfect place _ . They have this burger called  _ The Gladiator _ and it's got like 6 patties. He would love that!”

“Alright, invite him there.” She sipped her soda as you typed it out, and smirked as you grew more excited. Again, the response came right away.

You gave her a nervous look as you checked it, and then froze.

“So? Do we have a date?” Undyne asked, elbowing you.

You nodded, pink cheeks dimpling under your small smile. “Yeah...Friday...thanks, Undyne. You're a good friend.”

“Not a problem, Nerd.”

“I'm gonna go get a soda, watch my food?”

“Sure.” She watched you walk away, and then quickly pulled her phone out to text Sans.

 

**(xxx):** ‘grats on the date. ur welcome.

**Nerd #1:** what r u talking about

**(xxx):** the date I just scored you with y/n. You're welcome!

**Nerd #1:** don't make fun of me, ‘dyne, m’not in the mood

**(xxx):** i just sat here for the last 15 minutes watching her text you, don't be dumb

 

She watched him roll his eyelights at his phone and then get up, meeting her at the table.

“if this is a joke, it ain't funny.” He growled. “i got a splitting headache so why don't you just lay off me, huh?”

“You guys are my real-life OTP, WHY would I joke about this?” Undyne asked, throwing up her webbed hands in exasperation. “I SWEAR we just had a long conversation where she texted you and asked you out!”

He grunted, pulling out his phone. He shoved it in her face so she could see...that there was nothing from today. “she hasn't texted me in days. n’why would she text me if i’m right here?”

“Well then who--”

“Oh, hey Sans!” You chirped. “How’s your headache?”

Your friends both froze at your voice as you approached, looking up at you...and you looked at them, confused.

“uh...s’good. thanks.” Sans said, pocketing his phone. “yours?”

“Much better,” you said. You shook your soda pointedly. “I think the caffeine helps. And Undyne’s pep talk made me feel better, too. Did she tell you I have a date on Friday?”

“yeah, she mentioned that.” His eyes were boring into Undyne’s skull, she could feel it as she stared at you. “wouldn't tell me who, though.”

You blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear sheepishly. 

“Oh, uh, it's no big deal...but...I'm gonna go check out that new burger place downtown. With Red.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Undyne. You fucked up.  
> Sans is probably going to strangle her when reader's back is turned.

**Author's Note:**

> Sans is the best.


End file.
